i really loved him

chapter 27

Regulus POV

Thursday, 13th May – To be honest, Regulus could understand what James saw in Lily Evans. Not that he had ever spoken to her, nor that he himself saw it, whatever it was that one was supposed to see in girls. He should probably hate, or at least resent her for being the soul recipient of James Potter's ever persistent affections. But he didn't.

Lily was a difficult person to hate, given that during the entire extent of his interactions with her, which involved regularly crossing paths in the library, she would always offer a very friendly smile to which Regulus would nod briefly in return.

Either way, Regulus thought it quite irrational to dislike her purely for being pretty enough, kind enough, radiant enough for James to chase so relentlessly after her. It wasn't as though she wanted him to. And even if she did, Regulus would be a hypocrite to blame her.

However, none of that remotely curbed the wrenching ache that arose in his gut that Thursday afternoon when Lily came searching for a book near his and James' desk in the library.

17:54 – Looking up, Regulus was just about to hand back an exceptional essay on the identification of werewolves when he noticed that the other boy's face was settled in a cocky smile, eyes fixed upon a nearby bookshelf. Or rather, the green-eyed, auburn-haired girl standing in front of it. James yawned loudly and leaned back in his chair, reaching his arms up in a stretch before interlacing both hands behind his head.

When Lily didn't so much as glance around from the book she was flicking through, James grimaced.

"Can't believe that didn't work," he muttered under his breath.

It did, Regulus thought miserably, hating how easily his cheeks grew warm, and wordlessly slid the marked werewolf essay across the desk towards him.

"Cheers," James said without moving his gaze.

Reaching up to rumple his hair, he opened his mouth to call,

"Alright, Ev—"

SNAP!

It was the sound of the book in Lily's hands being shut so forcefully that Regulus was sure she did it deliberately to drown him out. She tucked it under her arm before James had a chance to say anything else and walked briskly away. That didn't appear to dampen James' spirits in the slightest. As soon as Lily was out of sight, he picked up the scroll of parchment, confident smirk lingering on his lips, to actually check the score at the bottom.

"Reggie," he exclaimed suddenly, with an over-exaggerated gasp. "Twenty, seriously? You never give me full marks!"

That was true. Regulus prided himself for being strict in his point distribution.

"It's perfect," he said simply, trying and failing not to be impressed by what truly was an impeccably well-informed essay.

And the hard lump that had formed in his chest the moment Lily had come over promptly dissolved at the beaming smile James turned on him.

"Cheers," he said earnestly. "Here's yours; full marks too, like bloody always."

"That's only because you're too lenient," Regulus chided, though was secretly pleased.

Every time James marked his work, he would leave a big smiley face beside the score on the parchment, and sometimes even add little messages to it. This time, right at the bottom of the page, he had written: 'Such a clever-clogs'.

"Nah, you're just too mean," James snorted, and when Regulus went to dispute him, "C'mon, you docked me a mark for a grammar mistake the other day."

"You used the wrong form of—"