i really loved him

chapter 23

Regulus POV

Sunday, 14th March, 6:21 – Crisp, cool air warmed to the surface by the newly-risen sun, brisk wind to be heard whipping through the trees of the Forbidden Forest, and just enough silvery clouds painting the sky to hint at a chance of rainfall. Not ideal flying conditions, but nothing that Regulus wasn't sure he could handle.

Having been unable to find sleep the night before, he had escaped from the stifling darkness of his bed and walked away. There hadn't been a particular physical destination in mind; more of a sudden need to be anywhere other than the dorm, do anything other than force his eyelids shut and wait for the dreams to take him.

For over an hour Regulus had walked. The silence of the halls provided a level of comfort that he had hoped for, yet not entirely expected. There was a certain peace, he noticed, in finding himself the only moving being through a vast space of stillness. With only the soft, dry pattering of bare feet on stone echoing around the halls.

No one disturbed him. That was unsurprising. Regulus was good at remaining undetected when he wanted to. It was in the shadows, he thought. Stay quiet and stay in the shadows. But shadows didn't always mean the gloomy realms that spread amongst obstructed floods of light; one only had to discern where the other shadows lay in order to hide within them.

Eventually, Regulus had decided that aimless wanderings were a waste of time. He didn't like wasting time. That understanding in itself felt as though he had woken from a strange, conscious dream though in reality, he told himself, he was just exhausted.

Not quite ready to return just yet, he had tightened his cloak around his shoulders, stepped out onto the stairs of the owlery and made his way to the top.

Inside the circular room, dented with its neat alcoves that housed the owls, there was a narrow, open window carved from the ceiling to the ground. Wedged in the space between two opposing walls of stone, a thick wooden platform was suspended.

It was here that those of the castle climbed to release their owls, laden with letters, into the sky. It was also here that Regulus had settled that night. With his knees pulled loosely up to his chest and back leaning against the stone, he had turned his head to watch the stars.

The sun had fully risen now. Which meant that before long, he would be heading onto the quidditch pitch surrounded both by his team and by the roaring of the crowd. Regulus didn't mind the noise. He had expected to, usually so relishing silence, but it didn't bother him in the slightest. Not when there was a snitch to catch.

Thinking about the upcoming match filled him with a pleasant buzz of excitement. On top of the nerves, and the resolute focus, and the lurking concern that he just wasn't quite good enough yet, Regulus really was looking forward to it.

It was James who had taught him how to feel like that.

Along with accidentally teaching him how to feel a lot of other things. But he couldn't afford to think about James right now, as it was already starting to form a tingling mist in his mind that would be certain to hinder his performance on the pitch if he allowed it to linger.

Just because that cocky smile now sent a rush of warmth unfolding in his chest, it didn't mean that Regulus was any less determined to wipe it right off James' irritatingly handsome face.

The chill of the morning air was beginning to reach him now, snaking through the fabric of his cloak and coaxing harsh goosebumps from his skin. Regulus stood up, stretched the ache of hours spent on a cold, hard floor out of his tired muscles, and left the owlery.

* * *

After some time reading back in the dorm, for he saw no value in trying to sleep by then, he went to the great hall for breakfast. Some other students were scattered around each table, mostly those enthusiastic enough about quidditch to eat early and grab the best seats in the stands. A general eager hum drifted about the room.