i really loved him

chapter 42

February – After that, it seemed, everything was them.

At first, James had been a little nervous that Regulus might become wary around him after everything that had happened. Of course, he was willing to work to earn his trust again, to put the effort in and make sure that Reggie could always be comfortable around him. No matter what.

As it turned out, though, they were better than ever. Like their falling out just opened something new and honest and vulnerable between them. Where James had expected Regulus to remain cautious to be near him, or to touch him for a while, the truth was quite the opposite.

The younger boy was constantly looking for ways in which they could be closer; linking their ankles under the table in the library, letting their hands brush together exactly once every three steps when walking onto the pitch. He even started coming jogging again, turning up at the crack of dawn with his often perfectly combed hair bedraggled and his nose wrinkled in perpetual annoyance, and James was always quick to announce that he had never looked more handsome.

They were still just as careful not to be caught, obviously, and it soon became sort of competitive. Which was highly unsurprising, now that James thought about it.

It'd be a contest to see who could look away for the longest time in the great hall (Regulus – literally always Regulus), or a race to see who could drag the other into a broom cupboard faster (usually James, but he was often pleasantly surprised to be beaten to it). Sometimes, yes, those mini cupboard dates consisted mainly of snogging each other senseless. But on other occasions they would just stand there, talking, holding hands in the dark and making the most of the time they allowed themselves to share.

James supposed that a part of him might continue to want more. It wasn't like those feelings could simply go away. But he could manage them just fine on his own, and he would never, ever try anything like that with Reggie again. Not after seeing the fear in his eyes and knowing that he had put it there. He hadn't been lying; what they had was more than enough.

And besides, there were plenty of other ways to show Regulus exactly how he felt about him.

For example...

Regulus POV

Friday, 18th February, 6:00 – "Happy one month anniversary!"

James strode into the quidditch changing room that morning with a beaming smile on his face – even more so than usual. In one hand, he of course held his broomstick. But in the other, he clutched to his chest a buoyant bouquet of odd-looking plants; thin, straggly stems adorned with round green leaves, dark purple flowers and gleaming berries the colour of midnight.

Regulus' first instinct was to try and suggest that James really needn't have done anything, but was already aware how well that would go down.

"Thank you," he said instead, half-amused and half-bewildered as James approached. "But technically, the '-ann' prefix in 'anniversary' refers to the year itself. So that doesn't quite make sense."

The older boy's smile didn't waver. With no hands free, he leaned down to peck Regulus on the lips before saying thoughtfully,

"Happy... monthiversary, then?"

"Much better," Regulus grinned. "Are those Belladonnas?"

"Yup," James said proudly. "Just nicked them from Sprout."

So, that was why he had cancelled their run.

"Only plants in the greenhouses that wouldn't try to eat or piss on you," he explained.

"I appreciate that," Regulus chuckled.

"Ah, and before I give them to you..." James cleared his throat. "State three