i really loved him

chapter 37

Regulus POV

1968 – The music chamber was Regulus' favourite place in the whole house.

It was even more beautiful than his own bedroom, though he would never say that out loud because Kreacher had helped him decorate it. With large green drapes lined with silver, and a tall silver mirror in the corner, and his family's crest hung above the dark green bed. Green and silver for Slytherin.

Regulus was going to be in Slytherin when he grew up. That is what Mother and Father always told him: he would be in Slytherin just like every other respectable member of the family. Regulus wasn't sure what 'respectable' meant, so he asked Andromeda and she said it meant that he would be worthy of being admired and looked up to by other people.

She also said that Regulus would be respectable whether he was in Slytherin or not, but that he wasn't to repeat that to anyone else. So he didn't.

Regulus was in the music chamber now, looking around at the violins and the flutes on the walls, the big bronze clock that told him it was nearly time for dinner, the thick, satin curtains that covered the window because it was dark outside. The curtains were soft, but Regulus wasn't allowed to touch them.

More than anything else, he looked at the piano. Mother was playing on it, sitting at the leather stool in one of her flowing gowns, and this was one of the times that she allowed Regulus to watch.

"Be silent, Regulus," she said sternly. "Stand beside me quietly, and you may listen. Do not fidget."

Regulus wasn't fidgeting. He held his breath to stop himself moving even the slightest bit and watched in awe – another word that Andromeda taught him – as Mother played her song. Her fingers looked like they were dancing. Her face looked calmer than it usually did.

When she stopped playing, Mother turned around. Regulus stood up even straighter than before.

"Good boy," she said.

Pride swelled in his chest. He wanted to smile with happiness but Mother wouldn't like that so he bit on his lip to make sure none of the feelings showed on his face.

"Thank you, Mother," he said quietly. "You play beautifully."

Mother didn't reply to that. She placed a hand on the piano.

"Why do we have this piano, Regulus?" she asked.

A test. Regulus swallowed and answered clearly.

"My great, great, great grandfather bought it in eighteen forty-nine," he explained, but Mother frowned.

"And what was his name?" she demanded.

"Cygnus Black," Regulus said quickly. His heart had a strange, stuttering feeling at the thought of getting it wrong. "The First."

Mother nodded like she was pleased.

"Sit down," she said, getting up from the stool.

Regulus sat, and looked up at her nervously.

"Stop staring," Mother snapped, and he looked back down at the piano.

It was enormous, made of dark polished wood with black and white keys that shone. Regulus thought it was just lovely. He pushed away the longing to touch it, instead folding his hands in his lap. Right over left.

Mother stood behind him and put one hand on his shoulder. She gripped it quite hard.

"Would you like to learn, Regulus?" she asked.

"Really?"

Regulus twisted around to look at her, worried that she might be lying, and she put a cold hand on his cheek to turn his head back down. She didn't respond to his question, so he thought it acceptable to speak again.