i really loved him

chapter 30

Regulus POV

September – Fear. Regulus was certain. Before, he had been unable to discern whether others acted strangely, differently towards him due to esteem or fear. Now he knew.

And since his becoming the heir, it became more apparent than ever.

Most of his peers in Slytherin were going out of their way to please him nowadays. They did this in methods of varying subtlety; some outright approached to praise his family name, whilst others simply nodded in polite acknowledgement as he entered a room or left the least garish earmuffs for him in Herbology lessons.

Those from other houses, on the other hand, essentially avoided Regulus at all costs by veering away in the corridors and averting their eyes from his.

And the one thing they all had in common was the fear.

Regulus noticed everything, the tremors in the voices that addressed him, the suspicious glances people stole when they thought he wasn't looking, the restless movement of students he sat beside in lessons. The fidgeting hands, the shifting away from him on their seats. Even the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Barker, caught his breath for a split-second when Regulus told him his name.

Despite this, he had been taught well. He handled himself like a true Black with ease, keeping his shoulders back, head held high as he walked, speaking clearly and calmly with the refined air of authority that he knew made people listen, and otherwise dedicating himself to success in all aspects of his life at Hogwarts.

Upholding the prestige of the Noble House, as his parents would put it.

As he had expected, Regulus was his family's legacy now.

Nothing less, certainly nothing more.

Except with James. Because as far as James was concerned, he was just Reggie.

They had fallen comfortably back into a routine of training together frequently, and James continued tagging along with him to the library two or three times per week. Back in their favourite corner, where it was quiet and, more importantly, undisturbed by others. It was rare that anyone passed the desk they shared, which made it easier for Regulus to justify being there in the first place.

The problem was that James was just so difficult to tell no. This was partially due to the fact that the other boy largely carried the manner of someone who had scarcely been refused anything in his life, and partially because Regulus was rendered completely defenceless in his presence. Every single time James asked to come and study with him, he tried to decline. Yet every single time, he relented before the words left his mouth.

So, there they went. Arriving separately and leaving separately on most occasions, on Regulus' reluctant request. And as usual, James was perfectly kind, perfectly understanding about it, readily agreeing and joking that he never thought revision would become a secret mission.

At least, Regulus thought he was joking; on one of their first study sessions of the year, James proved him wrong.

Thursday, 9th September, 16:03 – "ReggieReggieReggieReggieReggieReggie—"

"—For Merlin's sake, what?" Regulus demanded as James skidded into the seat opposite him, grinning madly.

"Look!"

From his pocket, James took out a plain, folded piece of parchment, which he flourished in the air before sliding across the desk. Regulus picked it up, turned it over, unfolded it, and determined that it was indeed nothing more than parchment. He glanced up at James, who was watching him eagerly, and noticed at once that his hazel eyes were glassy with fatigue, bearing dark purplish circles beneath them. Despite this, they sparkled with excitement.