i really loved him

chapter 44

Monday, 7th March – The next day, James had already sprung back to his usual boisterous self. He convinced Regulus to join him for an early morning jog, followed by quidditch practice before breakfast, studying in the afternoon and patrolling the seventh floor together that same evening.

But however much time they managed to spend in each other's company, fitting in as many meetings as their schedules and desire to remain inconspicuous would allow, it never felt like enough. Which was why, after walking James back to Gryffindor Tower and stopping for a kiss goodnight, Regulus had trouble turning away. James appeared equally reluctant.

"How long'll it take you to get back, d'you reckon?" he asked. Obviously stalling, but Regulus was glad of it.

"Twenty minutes," he replied, smoothing down the older boy's robes where they had been rumpled. "Fifteen, if I walk quickly."

"You always walk quickly," James pointed out with a grin. "I can barely bloody keep up."

Regulus rolled his eyes.

"That's because you dawdle," he said. "It's a miracle you reach lessons on time."

"I don't," James sniggered. "Checked Gryffindor's points recently? We're doing 'dismally,' according to McGonagall."

"Which you're much too pleased with yourself about," Regulus said, shaking his head.

"Yup," James said happily. "Reckon we could get into negatives if we try hard enough. Got to be some sort of record we could break..."

"Your idiocy continues to astound me," Regulus told him, in an increasingly familiar mixture of fondness and exasperation.

"Oh, like you're Mr. Perfect," James smirked. "Should be taking a few points off yourself for indiscreet behaviour in the halls right now, don't you think?"

He glanced down, to where Regulus' hand still rested on his chest in the narrow space between them, and raised his eyebrows. When Regulus could offer no rebuttal, his face broke into a triumphant smile. But instead of gloating, or teasing him further, James just leaned in for another kiss.

Regulus forgot all about being mildly irritated. Before long, James' straightened robes were crumpled all over again where he grasped them, as he rose onto his toes, kissing him back, knowing that he should leave and not wanting to in the slightest. Eventually, though, he brought himself to pull away. James tried to follow his mouth with his own, but Regulus put a gentle hand on his lips to stop him.

"I have to go," he murmured. "It's almost midnight."

"Don't want you to." James spoke against his fingertips, then settled for kissing his palm.

Regulus laughed softly.

"Nor do I," he admitted, moving the hand to stroke his cheek. "But—"

"—Don't, then," James said suddenly.

"What?"

"You could stay here tonight." He nodded over at the portrait hole, where the Fat Lady was fast asleep, before turning back to him with a smile spreading across his face. "With me."

After a pause, his eyes went wide.

"Just to sleep, I mean," he added hastily. "I didn't mean we— I wouldn't— Um..."

"I know you wouldn't," Regulus said quietly, unable to meet his eyes. "What about your friends?"

"They'll be asleep by now," James shrugged. "And we can use the cloak to get you in. It'll be fine. Only if you want, though, Reggie. You don't have to."