med school roommates

chapter 46

When we get home, we go to his room. I pull off my clothes until im in just my underwear and panties.

I go to get changed into my pyjamas when he takes them off of me. "I want you naked" he pushes me up against the wall gently. He kisses my neck. I put my hands on his waist as he sucks on my skin.

"Derek-" I say quietly. He keeps kissing down my skin, between my breasts. "Der" I say. "Mm?" He kisses back to my neck. I put my hands on his cheeks. I look into his eyes. He kisses my lips.

"We've been having a lot of sex lately" I state. "That's what people do when they're dating" he smirks. "But.. I just- are you sure you're not using sex as a.. distraction?" I ask. "Meredith" he sighs.

"We're having sex every night.. and I'm not complaining.. but when we're up all night.. everynight.. I just think.." I say. He sighs. "I just think that it may be a way of.. avoiding.. for you" I say.

"Do you want to have sex.. or not?" He says. "I- no" I say. He walks to the bed, putting his pyjama shirt on. He sits on the bed. "Derek.. I wanna talk" I walk over to him. "What's there to talk about?" He asks.

I climb behind him. He's sat on the edge of the bed. I sit behind him. I wrap my arms around his waist from behind, kissing his cheek. "I just don't want you to be hurting" I whisper in his ear.

"I'm not" he groans. I climb off of the bed. I put on one of his shirts instead. I sit next to him on the bed. "You've not slept in weeks.. you think I haven't noticed, you waiting for me to fall asleep before getting up and watching TV?" I say.

"I don't want to talk about this" he gets up, walking to the living room. I sigh. "Derek" I follow him. "Mer, just leave it" he says. "Derek, talk to me.. please" I say. "Meredith-" he says.

"But-" I say. "Damn it! Will you just leave me alone?!" He yells, turning to face me. I look into his eyes. I tear up. He sighs. "Mer-" he says. I run into my room.

I sit on my bed, curling up into a ball, tears running down my cheeks. He walks into my room. He walks over to me. "Hey" he whispers, sitting infront of me on the bed.

"I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to yell at you" he says, running his hands up and down my legs gently. I don't look at him. He climbs next to me. He pulls me into his arms.

"I'm sorry" he whispers, kissing my head. He strokes my hair gently, running his fingers through it. "I didn't mean to make you angry" I push my face into his chest.

"I know.. you were just being nice" he says. "You were being mean" I say. "I know" he says. I sigh. I climb onto his lap. "We don't have to talk until you're ready" I cuddle into him.

"You know I'll tell you anything" he says. I look into his eyes. "You're my best friend" he strokes my cheek with his thumb. "I would never judge you, derek.. ever" I say. "I know" he says.

"I'm sorry for keeping you up everynight" he says. "No, I wasn't- I'd stay up with you everyday forever.. I just don't think you should be avoiding your problems" I stroke his cheek with my thumb.

"I don't- I don't think I am.. I just.. after that day I saw her, I haven't really thought about it" he says. "I think you should, derek.. I- I think you should see a therapist" I say. "No" he says immediately.

"Derek.." I put my hands on his cheeks. He looks into my eyes. "You went through something huge.. traumatising.. and you never dealt with it when you were a kid, but when you saw her the other day.." I sigh.

"That brought stuff up.. and I don't think you should avoid it this time" I say. "But I'm fine" he says. "But you're not" I say.

I turn around so I'm straddling him instead. "If you don't want to see a therapist.. talk to me" I say. "Mer" he whines. "Please" I whisper. He looks into my eyes. I smile small. "Okay" He nods.

"How does sex make you feel?" I brush his hair out of his face. "I don't know.. good" he says. "Does it not bring back.. memories?" I ask.

"No.. it- I dont know.. sex with you, it- it replaces those memories.. with good ones.. Great ones" he kisses me softly. I smile small. "She- she was mean.. rough" he looks down, twiddling his thumbs nervously.

"You're nothing like that.." I put my hand on his chin, lifting it up so he's looking at me "You're perfect.. you make me feel good.. amazing.. it isn't just sex with you.. you make love to me" I look into his eyes. He pushes our lips together, kissing me deeply.

I put my hands on his cheeks. I pull away slowly. "What about your sleep?" I ask. He looks down. "What do you see when you close your eyes?" I stroke his jaw with my thumb.

"Recently.. I get flashbacks.. what happened to me.. I just- sometimes I feel like I'm gonna fall asleep and wake up back there" he says. I tear up slightly but blink my tears away quickly.

"You're so much stronger now.. she couldn't do anything to you" I hols his face in my hands. He looks into my eyes, tearing up a little.

"and I would never let anything happen to you.. I just wish I would've helped you more back then" I whisper. "You helped me so much.. I wouldn't be me without you" he says.

I wrap my arms around his neck. "Derek.." I say. He looks into my eyes. "I-" I stop, tearing up slightly. "I know" he smiles. He kisses me deeply. I guide my tongue into his mouth. Our tongues dance.

I run my fingers through his hair. I pull away slowly. "Will you try and get some sleep tonight?" I kiss his lips softly. "I don't-" he whispers.

"Please.. try.. I'm scared you're gonna pass out or something at school if you don't get rest" I say. "Okay" he says. "Okay" I smile.

I look at him. He raises his brow. "I'm not going to sleep until you do" I say. He chuckles softly. I reach over, turning off the light. "Lay down" I tap his chest. He grins, laying down under me.

I pull the covers over us. I wrap my arms around his waist. I kiss his cheek before snuggling my face into his neck. He wraps his arms around me, pushing his face into my shoulder.

We snuggle together, getting comfortable. I wait until I hear his quiet snores. I pull away slowly. I look at him. "Der?" I whisper. He doesn't move.

"Der.. baby?" I whisper. He doesn't move. I let out a small breath as I realise he's actually asleep. "I love you" I whisper, kissing his cheek. I close my eyes, snuggling into him. I fall asleep soon after.