The sad crow

Chapter 19

Trigger warning: Self-harm, depression, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, mental disorders, abuse

-one-week time skip-

After my breakdown, everyone started to act even weirder towards me than before, they seemed so.. careful with what they said to me. It was annoying but really, I was too tired to try to convince them otherwise. First I stayed in the hospital for a couple of days and am now "living" with Kageyama. It's more or less nice, we cuddle a lot and he gives me kisses and makes me feel loved. However, he also checks up on me all the time, feels a bit controlling me, and always watches me take my meds, eat, and check my body for any form of self-harm. I do know he only means well but still, it's so tiring!

After the incident Tsukki also missed a couple of days of school as I heard, he texted me and apologized too, I'm not mad at him, I still agree.

Today is Sunday and tomorrow should be my first day back at school, honestly, I don't have really strong feelings towards it, I'm used to it, my attitude didn't change a lot, tho I am grateful for Kageyama and Kenma, they've been doing their best all along. <3

Currently, I'm laying on Kageyamas bed, it's already evening, I have already taken a bath and he should be back from his any moment.

Life is so miserable, if Kageyama wouldn't be with me I'd have killed myself for sure at this point.. I wonder what mom is doing rn, is she thinking about me still?

I let out a sigh and my eyes become all teared up, suddenly Kageyama comes in.

The black-haired boy looks and me with a worrisome expression.

"Hinata? Are you crying?"

"I'm not"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing"

"You are a bad liar"

"Am I?"

Before we could talk more Kageyama has already jumped on me, tickling me all over!

"Mhmmm you're the worst liar Hinataaaa~ Now come on! Tears go awayyyy~"

"Hahaha Baby stopppp!! You know I'm ticklish there!"

We both laughed together before he stopped and looked me right in the eyes.

"But really Hinata, are you ok?"

"I'll be fine you dork!"

I pressed a small kiss on Kageyamas lips. We both laid down next to each other and found a comfortable cuddling position fast. I played with his soft hair and he had closed his eyes already.

We stayed like that a while before he asked.

"Hinata?"

"mhm?"

"Tomorrow is school"

"I know"

"Are you.. scared?"

"Hmm I guess?"

Kageyama flipped his eyes open and looked at me again.

"Why?"

"Well it's my first day back after.. you know what.., I'm not sure how people will react, besides, I look like a dead dog that was driven over by 10 cars."

"you know that's now true Hinata!"

"Besides that.. You know how I feel about all this, about the others, about you, about school, you know what I think about myself and my life"

"I do know, but I'm glad you're still here sweetie, are you not?"

"..."

"Are you not?"

"Let's go to sleep Kageyama, it's getting late"