(Ten Years) ~ Elizabeth Olsen

15 ~ Confusion

Lizzie POV

I didn't realize how all of this was affecting me until I watched Y/N drive away and my heart started racing with worry. Making sure everyone has what they need is tiring but I don't mind it. I think the most exhausting part is dealing with my emotions concerning Y/N.

If I was being honest with myself, I hate seeing her with Hailee. It makes me physically ill and I hate it. I have no room to have any feelings about it. It made me feel a little better that she just wants to be friends with her, but a part of me also thinks that maybe Hailee would be good for her.

Hailee is sweet and genuine. She cares about Y/N and it seems like she would do anything to make her happy. She's exactly what Y/n needs. That's why I said Hailee was kind of like her Robbie.

Robbie does anything he can to make sure I'm happy and I do the same for him. We have a solid relationship built off of a strong foundation of friendship.

Being around Y/N has been hard. Pam's accusations about my feelings for her just made it harder.

I see how great she is with the kids and how much she's trying to be the best she can be for them. I see her heart and I find myself missing her.

I feel absolutely horrible about it. I feel like I'm cheating on Robbie and I didn't even do anything.

I think it's pretty clear that she doesn't think about me in the same way. Even if she does, it's not the time for me to complicate her life even more. It's easier if I just get over these conflicting and confusing feelings that seeing her brought back up.

I don't even know if these feelings are real or not. Are they feelings I thought I didn't have anymore? Nostalgia? Or are they new? I just don't know and the more I think about it, the worse I feel.

I'm not here to win her back. I'm here to be supportive and make sure she's dealing with the death of her brother okay. It's not the time to make this about me or our relationship.

I can't help but think that my care for her is exactly what she needs though. Things would be so different if I had waited for her. I said she was the one, but then went and got engaged to men twice. What the fuck am I doing?

I decide to run to the twins hotel, hoping they can help me calm the fuck down. They've been keeping their space while the family settles down into their new life while also working on stuff for their fashion company remotely.

I knock on the door to their room and they open it easily, pulling me into a hug.

"You're sweaty." MK complains.

"I went on a run." I explain.

"You ran all the way here?" Ash asks and I nod.

"Damn. Sit down Rocky." MK teases.

"I needed it. I was overthinking." I explain and they nod.

"About Y/n?" MK asks and I nod.

"Yes." I admit. There's no point in trying to deny it at this point.

"Okay, what about her?" Ash asks.

"I think I love her." I spit out before I convince myself otherwise.

"Well I could have told you that." MK comments and receives a smack on the head from Ash.

"Why do you think you love her?" Ash asks instead, pulling me to sit down on the couch in their room.

"Because...I hate seeing her so hurt. I hate seeing her with Hailee." I list off.

"Wait? Hailee is here? Aw I miss her." MK comments and I shoot her a hardened glare. "Okay damn chill."