At First Sight (GirlxGirl) LGBT+

Chapter Thirty Two

Fuck no. Not Christie. No. Isla. How do I tell Isla. She's going to be devastated.
"Dani" the radio buzzed.
"589 can you hear me"
"Yeah" Dani managed to get out between holding her breath try to keep the despair and hurt from exploding into the still February evening.
"You okay?"
"No Sarge." She let go of the radio. And sat on the steps.
"Hey Squirt" she heard Tom on the radio. "Where are you?"
"Ardrossan. At Isla's"
"Me and Smithy are in Largs, Sarge I think it'd be better we pick up Dan and Smith brings the car back. We drop can Dani home"
"215 to 351 agreed. Tom make sure she gets home alright"
"Sarge. Can I tell Isla." Dani asked.
"Yeah. The school will need to be involved saves me phoning that prick of a headteacher,"
"Okay."

Informing families and friends of the likely death of a loved one was undoubtedly the hardest part of the job. It never got easier, watching for the moment the penny dropped. The feeling that when you chapped a door you were going to present them with news that would break their heart and change their lives forever. This worse though. When you know the person your telling, and you never want to cause them pain. Aww Isla. When you know how much they loved the person they've lost from their life, and knowing that Christie for all her faults was a good kid who deserved more than her lot in life, she just wanted to be loved and looked after, like any teenager.

Dani took a deep breath and opened the front door. She Closed her eyes for a moment then took the first step, she wanted the stairs to go on forever but before she knew it, she was standing in the living room looking at the love of her life and knowing she was about to say something which will break her heart again.

"Isla"
She looked up. "Dan what's wrong?"
As much as tried she couldn't keep it together, "they found her" she cried, "I'm so sorry Isla." She shook her head. "Christie's body was pulled by the coastguard" Dani cried. "I'm sorry"

Isla took a second. Waiting for everything to start moving again, she stood up "No. no, it can't be her. She doesn't like water, she can't swim." And with that Isla let out an almighty wail. "No" all of the hurt she had bottled up for the last six weeks, burst from her in ruptured agony. "No!" She fell to the floor.

Dani moved over and kneeled down beside her. She didn't ask she just pulled Isla into her body and let her cry. She felt Isla trying to fight the hug, punching at her back and pushing her away. But she didn't move, she held her tighter until Isla gave up the fight and sobbed into the shoulder of her stab vest.

There was no other sound. Just sobs and tears and sniffing. Dani cried too her tears rolling into Isla's hair. They stay like that while Dani's radio went and Smith came into the flat for the keys to the patrol car. They sat like that sat like that until they were numb from crying. They sat like that until the timer switch on the heating went off and the room started to chill. Dani just held Isla. Isla felt like a shell, empty. Lost.

"Don't go" Isla pleaded as Dani moved.
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm just going to move you to bed. It's getting cold.
"Stay with me"
"I am" Dani stood up and moved Isla up onto her feet. And supported her through to the bedroom.
Daniels bed was still in the corner with his favourite stuffed toy. She's lost everything. That's why she is hiding at work. There is nothing here for her. I want to make it all right for her again. But I can't bring Christie back. I can be here for her. Although it will hurt like hell to not have her, I love her and I need her to have someone to get her through.

"Come on" she sat Isla on the bed and took her shoes off. Standing her up again to lift back the covers. Yoda was there. She sat her down again and swung her legs round and under the sheets.
"Where are you going?"
"I just need to take some of this off." Dani took off her jacket, stab vest and utility belt. She undid her boots and slid them off.

She then moved round to what used to be her side of the bed and got under the sheets. Sliding and arm under Isla's body she pulled her in and held her. Isla cried quietly for a while. Dani watched over her and stroked her hair. I'm so sorry you're so sad. 

Not long after Isla fell asleep Dani drifted off too. Isla's head resting on her shoulder.

Isla woke up and for a fraction of a second things were perfect she in her favourite place wrapped in Dani. Then she remembered why and the tears started again. She tried to muffle the crying, whether she was awake or asleep Dani seemed to know because she felt Dan hold her tighter.

I can't believe it. Christie. I was so horrible to her last week. Wonder what happened. She won't have done this herself. She not the type, but then Harris wasn't. Come on Isla you know there is no such thing as a type of person who takes their own life. She must have fell in or something it's been a horrible accident. Please don't let anyone have hurt her. Isla exhaled all the muffled cries she'd been trying to hold in. Dani was snoring. She really is loud, I miss the noise though. She gently unwrapped herself from Dani's arms and sat on the side of the bed. It was 537. She still expected to hear Daniel jump off the bottom of the bed and sneak round for a morning ear rub. I miss him. My boy, how could she do that that to me.

She looked over her shoulder at Dani who'd moved her arm and now looked like she was seconds away from sucking her thumb. Isla smiled a second. I miss you so much too, we should have been thinking about a wedding. Not wondering why Christie's not in the world anymore. She stood up and left the bedroom. She was shattered. She moved to the kitchen and put the kettle on.

Dani got up when she heard a smash from the kitchen.
"Sorry I just dropped it I didn't mean to wake you" Isla was crying.
Dani moved over and wrapped her arms around. Isla didn't fight this time she just sobbed.
"Here you sit down I'll make the tea" Dani said.
"I never told you before but you make pretty lousy tea" Isla smiled.
"Good to know" Dani half laughed.
"Thank you" Isla said. Looking over "for staying last night"
"You don't need to thank me." Dani handed her a mug. "You want toast?"
"Don't think I could eat anything, but help yourself"
"No I've not got much of an appetite either."
"Dan, do you know what happened"
Dani shook their head "no. Do you want to know the process or"
"Yeah I think I do."
"There will be a formal identification. Mostly likely her mum as her Dads in prison. Then there will be a post-mortem, depending on when the Pathologist is free, sometimes this happens before the ID. But we try as quick as possible. Based of that report we will then know approximately when and how she died. If there is anything suspicious"
"Do you think they'd let me see her"
"No. But you don't want to see her. Especially if she has been in the water"
"Will you see her?"
"Not if I don't have to." Dani looked across the table. "I don't want to remember her like that."
"Will it be bad?"
"I honestly don't know. But to me she won't be Christie"
"Do you believe in God and Heaven and all that stuff"
"I like to think the soul lives on in someway. I've seen enough dead bodies to know that they're changed they don't look like they did when they were alive. I know I'm not making any sense. But whether soul lives on in an after life or as a new life or in the memories of those who loved them I don't know. We were raised catholic. When we came of age. After our first communion, my mum gave us free choice. Cait stayed a bit longer than me. I think I believe that there is a god they wouldn't need so many rules for us to show our belief."
"I want to believe in a heaven I want to see my brother again. And Christie." Isla was sobbing again.
"The tea that bad?" Dani tried to lighten the mood.
Isla giggled through her tears.

"Can you drop me at home," Dani asked. "I need to shower and change my uniform"
"You've still got underwear and a top here. In your drawer." They both looked at each other, acknowledging how intertwined their lives had been.
"I meant to give you them back, they were in the washing. I'm sorry"
"It's okay"
"I'm pretty sure you still have some of that shower gel in the cupboard too." Isla said. "You coming into the school?"
"I'll need to call the station find out where they want me"
"But you'll be going to Greenock?"
"Yeah"
"I'll give you a lift."
"Thank you.
"Which shower do you want?"
"Not fussed"
"I'll take the ensuite then" Isla said.
"You okay?"
"No, but I'll be okay. Dan, nothing" I can't ask her to stay again tonight. I don't want to be on my own
"Isla, do you want to pack a bag stay with me tonight?"
"You sure?"
"Yeah"
"Thank you. I'd rather not be on my own" you make me feel so safe. I love her I should just tell her. She made just being kind, Isla. She'll not want you anymore. I mean look at you. You have nothing to offer.
"I'll be here for you" I love you, hate seeing you sad.