Never letting you go (Penelope x reader)

The one where there is a case

Y/n pov

I can't stop thinking about Penelope's reaction to Aaron's words, but now at least i have an answer to one of my questions. Meaning that no one actually knows, except for Aaron and Emily but they don't count in this case. Also seems like he's giving me my own chance to tell the team what i've been through, on my own time and if i even want to. My thoughts are interrupted when people start piling into the room and sit down around the table. I have Emily on my left side and Penelipe is standing on my right by a large screen. We already have the case files placed in front of us.

"This is Y/n Sloan, a transfer from Interpol who just finished her one year leave from the field, so let's help her get back into it" Aaron introduced me to the people who have entered. I stand up so that i can reach everyone's hands in greetings, everyone except for one.

"Derek Morgan"

"Jennifer Jareau but you can call me JJ"

"Dr Spencer Reid" as he says it, he examines me, like he's trying to put my face to a body in a memory. I know the BAU had helped with the profile but that makes me wonder how much information they actually had, meaning thay could know more and just not mention it. I was the one to suggest letting Aaron's team help with that profile, it was my idea. If i knew what would happen and that i'd end up here i might have gone down a different road.

"David Rossi, so your the infamous Y/n Sloan i've heard to much about"

"I didn't know anyone had been talking about me" i shake his hand with a smile.

"There's a picture of you and Hotch in his office, so i asked" oh is that so. But Aaron just looks to Penelope for her to start.

"So team, you are going to Milwaukee Wisconsin where three women have been brutaly murdered with a kitchen knife" she pushed some buttons on a controller and pictures starts rolling up. I notice how she avoids looking at them as she continues. "Four weeks ago Lisa Andrews, 47, was found displayed on her own bed. Two weeks later Andrea Mitchell, 53, was found in an identical way. Last week Brooke Davis, 48, found the same on her apartment couch."

"Any sign of rape?" Emily asks and just the word almost makes me jump, key word being almost.

"Yes, along with being starved under the course of three days. Later stabbed approximately forty times with a kitchen knife grabbed at the scene" she answers, looking away from the bloody picture on the screen.

"Why weren't we called in earlier? This unsub seems to be on a schedule of one a week, for all we know another woman is enduring this right as we speak" JJ says and i'm trying to find what connects them through the pictures. But now Penelope looks at me, not at JJ who's talking.

"Well it's a two hour ride, we'll go over it on the plane. Wheels up in thirty" Aarons says and before we all start to get up he nods for me to come to his office. As we didn't get a chance to before the briefing.

"Wanna carpool?" Emily asks as i get out of my chair.

"Sure, i'm just gonna talk to Aaron and i'll be down" she nods before walking off herself and i follow the stream and then into his office.

"Close the door please" he asks and i close the door behind me before sitting down on the opposite side of his desk. "Now i know you have the board's approval, the doctors and you therapists clearing you for the field but now i'm asking you. Are you ready to come back? For if not there are other things that can be done on our team that's not in the field" he immediately gets to the point, which was rare with my last boss. Well, he was also a sexist but that's not the point.

"I'm positive Aaron, i'm ready to come back" i say, repeating the words i've said at least a hundred times the last two months.

"Promise me you'll tell me if there is nothing holding you back, i'm here if you need to talk" he says and i know what he means. But i know it's not healthy, but i've learned how to control my emotions about my trauma.

"I promise i'll tell you if there's anything. You know me, i can't sit on the sidelines, it's not only driving me crazy but also Lena"  i explain and see, in the corner of my eye, Spencer looking at me.

"Alright, i'll see you on the plane" i look behind him to find a picture of me and him from his and Hayley's wedding. God how young we looked back then. Beside it is a picture Hayley had taken when i was an working officer on one of his cases as a lawyer.

"Thank you and that really is a good picture of us" i say before walking out, towards my desk, that i haven't had the chance to sit in yet. I take up my go-back as Spencer comes up next to me as we head to the elevators.

"I know where i recognize you from now" he begins as an introduction to a conversation as we actually make it to the elevators. Penelope waves to me before going into her own room, i wave back with a slight smile.

"And from where is that dr. Reid?" i ask him as an invitation for him to continue talking.

"You were on the team for the case of Micha Jefferson in Norway, our team helped build your profile" i really don't want to talk about it and his name only puts shivers down my spine. "You were on the undercover team to take him down, your testimony put him on death-row"

"Yes it did and i was the one to request your team's help. Now i can't wait for the next five months to pass so that he can die" i say more coldly than intended but if he has read that case, he knows that i was the only one to survive. Now i'm more happy it doesn't mention how two out of four of my teammates died. One out of five survived that because someone sold us out, we still don't know who to this day. "But, dr. Reid?"

"Yes?" he answers as we get off onto the parking lot where they are waiting for us. EMily is parked the other way from the rest so i must say this before we seperate.

"I would like it if you don't talk about that case with me, some things are secret and some i wish to forget" i say and he seems to understand exactly what i mean by it. "I would also appreciate if you didn't talk about it with anyone else either"

"Of course, i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable"

"It's okay, i just want to move on and everyone mentioning that case all the time doesn't help" this time he just nods before we both head in different directions.