Never letting you go (Penelope x reader)

The one where i have no voice

Ferris Bueller once said "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it"

Penelope pov

I don't know how time works anymore. After the kiss... and after i got you to lie back down, it was still moving so slow. You take my hand in yours as you start to draw in my palm. And 'I' and then a heart and then a 'Y'. I don't even notice how more tears start to run down my cheeks until you brush them off with your thumb, but let your hand stay on my cheek.

Time breaks again when the door opens. Like everything around us starts to move again, like the world was still and now it's not. You look behind me towards the people that have entered and in your eyes i see a flash of fear for the questions they're about to ask. But not that they're gonna rip open old scars, but that i will know what happened. That me, Emily and Hotch will know. The people who've known you the longest or the best will know what happened.

"Are you okay to answer some questions y/n?" Hotch asks and you nod, glancing between the three of us. It's almost written in your face that you don't want the three of us to hear or ask anything about it.

"You were shot at precisely 8 pm two days ago, on the 1st of November" Spencer begins but i don't know what the date has got to do with it. "Do you know why the date struck me?" i see you keeping in tears as you know that he knows something. But what is it?"

"She can't talk, the ventilator left her throat pretty dry and sore" i say as you really can't answer his question.

"But were you aware of the date and time?" Spencer asks as a yes or no question instead, so that you can nod or shake your head. Blinking away a tear you nod, confirming the information he has. And has apparently not shared with the others of the team. "What did he do to you?" but now you just shake your head, not wanting to relive everything. I can understand that, we all can actually.

"Y/n, if you want us to help you, you have to help us understand why you were shot" Emily says, coming up on your other side and takes your hand in hers. It's like you avoid her gaze on purpose, as well as mine. You just look up at Spencer for a few seconds before gesturing with your hands for a pen and paper. So he looks through his bag and gives you a pen and a notepad.

Y/n pov

"Those weeks before you were rescued, did he..." before Spencer can finish his sentence i've wrote down the name of the doctor that looked after me in Atlanta and a 'please don't let them know what happened to me' to make sure he doesn't let Penelope know. Emily doesn't know the specifics but knows the general fact of what happened in that case. Aaron knows what happened as he had read my file before letting me join the team, but still he doesn't know the exact specifics. Spencer is the only one i can trust with this, the only one i know who won't do anything too drastic on my behalf. Even though he cares deeply, i know that he'll respect my wishes. But of course he would be the one to figure it out. He was the first to know that i was assigned to that case, of course he then remembered exactly when... his execution was taking place.

A doctor enters the room as i hand him the notebook and pen back.

"I'm sorry, but Ms Sloan really should rest and there is one more person who wishes to talk to her" the doctor says.

"Just know Y/n, they have started an investigation. So they've taken your badge, but we're gonna get it back." Morgan says, patting on my leg before the team says goodbye to me, Emily putting a kiss on my cheek, before they all walk out. I look at Penelope for her to answer me who's here and she understands the question in my eyes.

"It's Mark, he's your emergency contact and jumped on a plane as soon as he got the call." her answer actually makes a tear fall down my cheek again with a sob. And with that, Mark actually comes in through the door while the doctor goes back out. He's been crying, i can see that. But he just stands there, not believing what he sees. I know i hadn't imagined hearing him, feeling his presence. All i can do is smile at him and he lunges at me to hug me. I don't even care about the pain shooting through my body as i bring my free arm around him to hug him back. The other hand is still being hugged tightly by Penelope. Like she's afraid that if she lets go i'll float away. And i don't want it any other way.

"I'm so glad that you're okay, are you okay? I mean, considering" he asks as he looks in my face, like he's gonna find a scratch. Like he used to do when i was little and fell off my bike. But a gun leaves a little less scratches and more of one hole. I can't do anything but nod and lean into his hand.

"She can't answer, the ventilator made her throat dry and soar." Penelope explains as he's confused as to why i won't answer in words. I haven't even tried out my voice yet.

"I..m fi...ne" i manage to breathe out and I feel it like a little victory. Even they see it as a victory.

"I'm so glad that everything turned out just fine" he says and i can tell that he's not just talking about me being shot, but also of the other 'situation'. Where he can see it's been solved by the fact of her hand in mine. "She hasn't left your side" he whispers quietly enough so that only i can hear. But i guess that's another thing that made him figure that one out.

"Visiting hours are over i'm afraid. You can come back when they start at 9am tomorrow. Agent Garcia, your team is waiting for you outside." the same doctor as before has come back into the room. They both are hesitant though. "There will be an officer outside her door at all time, she's going to be okay but she needs her rest"

I nod to them that it's okay as i'm feeling quite exhausted. But i don't want her to leave, but it's the rules. She's probably going to be just outside anyway. I have a feeling that she's not leaving this hospital until she knows that i can walk out of here safely. Mark gives me a kiss on the cheek before walking out while Penelope gives me a peck on the lips.

"I'm gonna make sure that we catch this son of a bitch, i promise" she whispers before going out. And i was right. But as soon as the doctor pressed some buttons on the machines that regulate medicine and shits, i feel how i'm starting to fall asleep. But it's not back to that black room, this time it's a meadow and a lake... in the backyard of the mansion in Norway. Letting the sun hit my face and feeling the warm winds. I'm in that moment where nothing had gone wrong just yet and it was a good day. How i wish for it to be like that... but it's just a dream and i'm aware of it.