Ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with?
Never easily falling in love with someone you work with while you both are dating someone else. Walking around hopelessly in love with each other, until something happens where...
"So it's girls night tonight" Emily says, plumping down next to me on my desk. "I'm going out with Aaron and JJ is taking care of her kids with Reid... so it's just gonna be the two of you..."
"I kissed her" i blurt out as i haven't had a chance to tell her when they were out on the case.
"What?" she says at first shocked but with a bright smile on her face.
"Well technically it was her that kissed me but i kissed her back" i turn to face her and her smile that now covers half her face.
"And tonight you'll get to kiss her again"
"I'm sure she doesn't even remember, we were both pretty drunk"
"Maybe you're forgetting who the lightweights are around here" she points out and it's true, We all know it's me and JJ.
"Tonight, it's date night instead of girlsnight. Whether she remembers it or not, you will kiss her again. I mean come on... how can the two people who all know are attracted to each other, even themselves, not even master up the courage to date" Emily whines a bit before the door opens and it's no other than you.
"Is girls night still on?" Emily asks you before you get the chance to tell us why you're here.
"I guess, i mean it'll just be the two of us but i'm no ditcher" you answer, looking at Emily. "Not even over boyfriends or girlfriends"
"Great, Garcia here needs a ride if that's the case" she says and it's like she won't let me even speak for myself.
"I think she can talk for herself Em" you say, like you've read my mind. "Are you still on for girls night?"
"Ye... yeah... of course... i mean sure" i stutter out and i swear my whole face goes red.
"Well we're leaving in twenty, be ready" and you walk out again.
"Not remembering it my ass, she remembers it and this is a date" Emily says before i kick her out so that i can get back to finishing whatever it was i was doing.
As we're all walking out of the office over the parking, we're practically walking in pairs. Em and Hotch are at the front, Morgan and Rossi not far behind, Reid and JJ are just a few inches on our side where me and you are walking closely together. Our hands are nearly touching as we walk towards your car. A small whoshing of the wind goes past my ear and i feel how you stop in your step.
"Y/n?" i ask as i turn towards you. Everything starts to move in slow motion as your eyes meet mine and a dark red spreads over the left side of your chest. People around me raises their guns as a ringing starts in my ear and you start to fall. Somehow i reach and catch your head before it could hit the pavement. Your chest is shaking in a try to breathe and your eyes flicker everywhere, not staying in one place out of panic. Spencer presses his jacket over the bullet wound... bullet wound. Oh my god, you got shot. I take your hand in mine and your eyes finally find a single place to look, my own eyes. You try to talk but only blood runs out of your mouth with a cough.
"Don't try to talk y/n, just squeeze my hand" and you do but your eyes start to flutter close, your hand becoming loose in mine just after a few seconds. All of this is happening too fast... or too slow... i don't know anymore. But the silence in my head is quickly replaced by the medics pushing us away, JJ takes me out of the way as i can't move, won't move until you open your eyes. I can't lose you, not without getting to tell you exactly how i feel, not without getting to kiss you again, not without getting to feel your warm embrace a thousand times more. Not when we're about to get the thing that destroyed the lives and expectations we had of that life.
I don't even know how i got to the hospital, either someone drove me or i actually jumped in the ambulance to go with. All i know is that i'm now holding your hand as the monitor beeps, the tube going down your throat helping you breathe, nothing is moving. After a six hour surgery that also went past like five minutes the words still echoing in my head. 'The surgery went well, but we won't know for sure until she wakes up. But we're confident that if she wakes up, she'll make a full recovery in a matter of weeks'. But the word rolling around is 'IF she wakes up'.
"Please Y/n, we can't do this without you, i can't do this without you. Please wake up" i mutter under my uncertain breath as tears start to roll down my cheeks again. "Come on, you're no ditcher, remember. We're supposed to have a girls night together, we were supposed to get together and talk about it. I can't live if we don't talk about it" i sniffle and i can see in the corner of my eye that Morgan is still standing outside, having an eye on me. "Please come back to us... come back to me"
Beep... beep... beep...beeeeeep... a nurse walks into the room and... beep.... beep... ...
"Death is not the opposite of life, but a part of it" Haruki Murakami
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Sorry not sorry, Lilith have me the idea. ♥️
Jk it was the plan all along but I don't know if she's dead or alive just yet. Might take awhile for me as I'm doing to do a vacation story with Addison Montgomery over my own boat vacation. Hope you all are having a good summer.☺️
