Ever The Same

17

"How are you feeling Mer?" Izzie Stevens whispered, as he walked into her friends dark bedroom. She'd been throwing up for the past two hours and it had finally stopped and now she was just lying on her bed, listless.

"I don't think I can throw anything else up."

"I brought you some water."

"No thanks." Meredith whispered, her skin pale as she lie ont he bed. Just in four days, her clothes had managed to become to big.

"Just sip on it." Izzie sighed. "You're going to get dehydrated."

"I'm fine."

"Okay...You can drink it later." She whispered, putting it on the bedside table.

"Did he um....the stuff we put on the porch...did he get it?"

"Yeah...He wanted to come in but...He took it and left."

"That's...it's probably better that he didn't come in." She whispered, feeling her friend's hand on her leg.

"Yeah...If it makes you feel better...He looked like crap."

"Oh...he's...but he's okay right?" She asked, moving to lie on her back.

"I don't know, Mer. He looked pretty bad." Izzie sighed.

"Oh...." She breathed, her eyes tearing up.

"I know you said you didn't want to talk about it but...maybe it will help."

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine." Izzie whispered.

"Izzie...my husband and I aren't speaking...we're not even staying in the same house and now we're going to try and pretend to be happy for a few hours tomorrow."

"I'll um...Mrs. Shepherd invited me to come with Mark so...I'll be there for you."

"I don't want to go but..."

"I know."

"Izzie..." Meredith bit her lip, for the first time falling apart without anyone hassling her. For the first time Meredith was letting it hurt on the first try.

"What do you need?" Izzie whispered.

"I need my husband back...I need...for this to not have ruined my marriage."

"You...you're Meredith and Derek...you can fix it."

"I don't know anymore...it's all...really fast and now we're not speaking."

"But you still love him..."

"That's....it' won't go away...it's not going to stop and that makes this worse."

"If you love him...you can fix this."

"He's not even staying with me in our house...and now...after Thanksgiving we're supposed to figure everything out but...I think we're ending it."

"That's...I'm so sorry Meredith..."

"I didn't even mean to upset him...I went to the doctor and he said everything was fine and Der...at one point he said he would go to and now he's mad and we're...Izzie..."

"Do you really think it's over?"

"I...I don't know." She whispered.

"Maybe you should stay home tomorrow." Izzie sighed.

"I can't do that." She breathed, a few stray tears wandering along her cheek.

"I just think...if you two haven't talked before then...It's just going to make it worse.