Ever The Same

20

It felt great, amazing even, to be waking up in his own bed in what felt like forever. Except what he had missed the most during the time he wasn't sleeping in their bed wasn't in his arms when he woke up. Meredith had been there when they had fallen asleep and when he had woken up briefly during the night but now she wasn't there. Derek sat up in bed, assuming Meredith was downstairs, before hearing the sound of the toilet flush followed by the sound of coughing and retching.

Morning sickness. He hadn't thought of that when he woke up. It still hadn't sunken in yet that she was pregnant. She was carrying their child. And now that child was causing her to be sick, as he walked into the bathroom to see his wife sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall with her head in her hands.

"Hey..." Derek breathed, kneeling down and pushing her hair off of her face.

"Hey." She whispered.

"You're...sick."

"Not really sick just...baby sick."

"Baby sick." He chuckled.

"Not so exciting."

"How long have you been in here?" He whispered, sitting down in front of her.

"It was still dark when I woke up."

"Oh Mer..."

"What time is it?" She whispered, looking at him with dark circles around her eyes.

"Eight thirty."

"Oh..." She breathed.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" He whispered, lifting her chin up to look at him.

"You were sleeping and I've been up off and on...I just didn't."

"You've been sick this whole time?"

"No in the middle of the night I just couldn't sleep cause I thought I might throw up...but the last time I woke up when it was still dark...I was sick."

"I'm sorry." He whispered, kissing her pale forehead.

"It's okay."

"Next time...wake me up."

"Derek this...I've been doing it for a week now...I can't wake you up or go get you every time."

"You've been like this for a week?"

"Well yeah." She whispered. "I mean when we started fighting...I mean the day with the fighting I started getting sick..."

"Oh god..." He breathed, standing up.

"It's not a big deal." She whispered.

"It is."

"Derek..."

"I should have been here." He breathed, running his fingers through his hair.

"We didn't know."

"I owe you...big time."

"No you don't."

"I'm just...I feel terrible about this, Mer."

"I know...so do I but we can't do anything about it...." She breathed, a hand moving over her mouth.

"Are you okay?" He said, quickly moving to hold her hair back.

"I...yeah." She breathed, leaning over the toilet. "I don't think I'm...sorry. False Alarm."

"Don't apologize." He whispered, sitting back down next to her, gently rubbing her back.