Why was I so hard to love?

swim

I spoke too little
but then it scalated
then you belittled
all that I stated

"I get drained easily"
But i'm a gallon of problems
is it gonna be this way, really?
Me expressing through poems

i'm scared because I overshare
as much as I like you
I don't know if I must beware
because ghosted by you I will

All those red flags
I can't recognize
because with you i wear my pink lenses
but I don't want to be left feeling defenseless

I have been heartbroken too many times
I express to you the feelings behind
I honestly don't want to whine
But I don't know how these feelings hide

May you swim with me
or will one more fish
drain the tank
while watching the surface with you is all I wish

Not only the surface
the sun, the moon, the stars
I can't help but stare at your face
but you can't even see my scars

All these scars are getting you drifted
I cannot stop this sea of problems
I sense my heart will get wrecked
and I will keep writing poems

Poems about your eyes
poems about your kisses
poems about your lies
poems about my wishes

I wish upon a star
a mentally stable mind
who isn't in constant war
and wishing for time to rewind

I just wanna call you mine
but I don't want to drain you
I guess that alone i'll sip some wine
while I keep feeling blue

It is always my fault
all my stories have a sad ending
where my heart gets thrown at a vault
and once again I start mending

I thought I liked you
but I think I like me more
My heart doesn't need glue
nor you, you stupid whore

i'm starting to remove the pink colored lenses
You are not the one for me
and I am coming to senses
In you I just wanted to believe

Our love won't even be called that way
because I won't let you in
you can keep swimming with the waves
while i'll keep letting nobody in