His Submissive, His Wife (BOOK 2)

Chapter 14- Get our lives back.

He looked tiny and fragile. I felt as if I was going to hurt him just by watching him. I couldn't hold him freely yet, he was too small and weak.

"I thought you said he was fine," I said as I looked up at Axel from my wheelchair. If my baby was fine, then why was he on one of those breathing machines?
"He is, he just needs some help to recover better."
"Recover? You only recover if you had something wrong with you. Do you think I'm stupid or something like that?" He rolled his eyes, and without answer, he began to push me out of the room.
"What are you doing? I just got here, I have to see my baby." He didn't stop, he kept pushing the wheelchair, and I couldn't do anything about it because the anesthesia was long gone and my body hurt like shit. "Don't make me jump off this freaking wheelchair." He did a sudden stop and I almost fell off.
"Amelia, I understand you just went through a very difficult process. However, I'd appreciate it if you stopped being a bitch. If I tell you our son is fine, then he is fine, you don't have to worry about it or make a scene. I don't want him feeling your bad vibes."
I suppose he could be right, but do I care? Not really, I feel like crap and all my problems are kicking in right now.
"Sure, you go get your core ripped open and wake up to someone saying you're about to get arrested and that your dear husband does money laundering as a hobby and that your father did business with criminals, go, then tell me how you feel afterward." I have the feeling I have actual reasons to act like a bitch. Though I shouldn't be laying all my anger on Axel, he's already being nice enough by not slapping me across the face for speaking to him like I am. He groaned and walked around the wheelchair, kneeling in front of me.
"I thought we cleared that out, I don't do that type of stuff nor I ever will. I'm sorry if I belittle what you're going through right now, it's just been hard for me as well. The thought of losing you... I could feel my heart shattering into millions of pieces, it made me think of how stupid I've been. The way I've been treating you, totally unacceptable." The thought of losing me? Was I really that bad?

We've had this talk before, he knows the way he treats me it's not the greatest, and I know well how selfish I've been, and all the problems that have caused to the people that surround me.

Still, after acknowledging our situation, we don't change, or if we treat each other differently one day, it seems off. No one taught me how to love, all I know of love, I've learned it from Joseph and my mother, so not the best examples to follow. Maybe that explains it all, maybe this is all I can give and receive. I won't lie and say I deserve better, because I don't, and from what I can see, Axel is on the same path.
"It's useless," I say, looking at his amazing eyes.
"What?"
"Us trying to become a better partners for each other. I just realized it's not our thing. So, what if we don't say I love you to each other as often as we should? So, what if I'm your fucking sex slave? Acting like a normal couple it's not us, our relationship didn't start like the one of a normal couple. For God's sake, I permitted you to choke me not even a day after we met. That's some gangster shit right there. But you see where I'm getting at?" I hoped with all my might he understood what I was trying to say.

I know I've complained before about our lack of communication and lack of love, but for some reason, I don't care anymore. We know we love each other, and both of us have some anger issues, so I don't want to force things out. Cussing at each other is our love language, our jobs are really important to us as well. I'd prefer for things to be smooth and comfortable, not rushed and awkward.

He got on his feet and stared down at me for a second. I don't know what he was thinking, but at least he didn't seem mad or upset.
"So you love being treated like a bitch and a slut." I was speechless, my mouth opened, but the words couldn't come out. I mean, that's not really what I said... but also not something I wouldn't say.
"That's-- I, well, that's not, I just meant--I'd like things to go back to how they were before this whole mess started." Where did the nervousness come from?
"Yeah, you want me to treat you like a slave, a pet, a submissive, and sometimes, maybe twice a month, like a wife." He crossed his arms in front of his chest and slightly tilted his head to the side.
"Well, I--"
"I'm not done talking." I zipped my lips. "I know where you are going with this, and I agree with it. I've been trying hard to be better for you, and that's the problem. I've been doing it for you and not for my well-being, and that's not a great match. Let's just say, we'll treat each other however we feel comfortable. But I'm letting you know, I'll definitely treat you more like a wife than a mere submissive because you deserve better."