knight in amor | na jaemin

Ill-fated

"Wait...what?!" Jaemin shouted into the phone as Renjun had called him at 3 am

"What the fuck?!" Yeseul exclaimed, sitting up from her sleep as she clutched the blankets to her chest

"There's no way"

"What's going on" she mumbled beside Jaemin but he only shook his head

"Go back to back to sleep, sorry i woke you up" he said quickly, kissing the top of her head before exiting the bedroom. Of course curiosity had gotten the best of her and she peaked out the door to get a listen in on his side of the heated conversation

"Its out all over the headlines, everyone's talking about the wedding"

"How the hell...could he do this to me? A wedding?!" Jaemin exclaimed.

Renjun had informed him that his grandfather had publicly announced that Jaemin was to get married to the daughter of a successful business man.

"How the hell can i get married by the end of this month?" Jaemin shouted into the phone out of frustration making her gasp at what he said, a bit too loudly since he had turned his head to see her body half way showing at the door of his bedroom

"Renjun I'll call you later" Jaemin said as he ended the call, slowly walking towards Yeseul

"How much of that did you hear?" He asked and she sighed

"The marriage part" she said, head hanging low, annoyed at herself for being caught by him in the first place

"What's going on?" She asked, looking up at him confused to why her heart strings were being pulled every single time she was with him. His eyes immediately softened, recognising the look of despair in her eyes

"Sit down, let's talk" he said, guiding her slowly back into the room, sitting her down on his bed. Not much except for silence was heard around the room, the ticking of the clock was the only exception.

"My grandfather just announced to the public that I'm engaged...to another chaebol" he said, cutting straight to the chase making her slump her shoulders back

"But hey...listen- i-I'm going to figure this out okay? We can get through this...i just need to talk to my grandfather and the-then-"

"Do you really think...we stand a chance?" She asked, looking down at the fingers he had interlocked with hers

"Y-yeseu-"

"Do you really think that we could make it out against all odds?" She mumbled

"What's wrong with trying?"

"I'll tell you what's wrong...one of us always ends up getting hurt... which is also always mostly me" she said, voice slightly cracking as her grip on his hand slowly loosened, yet he only tightened it

"Yeseul we were fine a few hours ago why are you being like this?" Jaemin asked, his annoyance of the situation getting the best of him

"Me? Am I wrong? It's so fucking difficult to be around you!" She shouted making him step away from her as her words settled in

"Its so hard to just know that no matter how much i try to stay away from you, you keep pulling me back in and...and then i get crushed by something out of our control again and again...and I'm tired of it....I'm tired of this" she said pointing inbetween the two making his heart ache from the pain

"Come on i know you don't mean th-"

"I do!" She shouted through her tears making him sigh, placing his hands on his hips

"You don't have a space for me in your world, we live different lives....I don't have responsibilities like you do and I don't want to have them either...god i...i was living such a normal life until i met you" she cried from whatever was reaching the top of her head, each word hitting him like a pang in the chest

"I don't think i can do this anymore" She said

"Yeseul please...I'm begging you. Just stay this time" Jaemin asked, pulling her into a tight hug, resting his chin on her head but she only clenched her jaw. Tearing her own heart into pieces as she proceeded to say words she never.

"I want you to be happy Jaem...that's all i ever want...but I don't think you'll be happy if we're together. Every day its a new problem and sooner or later we're going to hate that. Maybe this girl is the one-"

"She's not-"

"You don't know that...just treat her well and...take care of yourse-"

"Yeseul...don't"

"Promise me...that you'll take fare of yourself" she whispered against the beating of his heart, preparing to savour the sound for one last moment

"Do you really have to do this?" Jaemin asked, biting his lip in hopes that she would change her mind, but it was no use.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry that this world is so difficult for you and me" she whispered, letting go of him

And maybe if she lingered in the hug a little bit longer she would have stayed. And maybe if he asked her one more time to reconsider she just might have. Maybe if she listened to her heart that was leaping out of her chest to connect with his, she might have let herself fall in love.

But love was a luxury she just couldn't afford, love was the only luxury Jaemin couldn't provide either.

"I'll get someone to drop your suitcases off at Jeyi's house" he mumbled, turning around to hide the tears welling up in his eyes. But in her eyes he was finished, he was done with her. Their love had played its part and run its course, without them even knowing it was love.

Yeseul grabbed her belonging quickly, walking out of the bedroom and soon out to the hotel lobby, meeting mark at the end of his shift to stay at his place instead of overcrowding Jeyi's

The twisted view of love was too much for the two to handle. All Jaemin was taught from a young age is that money could get you everything, and to shower someone with money shows that you love them. All Yeseul grew up to soon realise was that money can't buy your true love and affection. Simply saying the words can't either. It was a feeling, a genuinely blood rushing feeling that she was supposed to get.

When she was around him all she felt was anxiety, worry that it could be the end, sadness that he might hurt her. For Jaemin, his condition simply didn't let him know what love was, in fact the pure beating of his heart whenever he saw Yeseul was enough to make him pass out. Was she even healthy for him?

The two stayed awake the whole night, contemplating on whether it was the universe that was pulling them apart, or whether their own issues built a crack between them.

As Jeyi said, maybe one day their rhythms will align and they will be the most beautiful melody the world has ever heard, yet until then...they were just two broken hearts which could never seem to mend each other. A war between love and friendship. An ill fated romance.