knight in amor | na jaemin

Old faces

"I'm not dying Jeyi, I'm just pregnant" Yeseul scowled slightly as Jeyi tried to stop her from doing simple tasks like running to get groceries all week.

"I know but Jeno can pick up the medicine-"

"It's fine, I need some fresh air anyway, some alone time" She mumbled and Jeyi eventually nodded, hoping Jeno wouldn't get mad for letting Yeseul out of her sight. But Jeyi understood. Yeseul was being treated as if she was about to die anytime soon, she finally understood why Jaemin hated people pitying him so much.

Her feet treaded slowly along the sidewalk, a hand subconsciously placed onto the bump over a thick sweatshirt that hid it, the bump was beginning to grow more evident, and she loved it. She loved the way it curved, she loved the way her back arched to distribute the weight equally, she found beauty in it all. Of course every now and then it was beginning to become harder fitting into tight jeans but then again, it was biology, her body was preparing to nurse a baby. She knew Jaemin would only become upset if she was to talk badly about herself at this time.

She was careful these days, since Jaemin wasn't there to think two steps ahead, she stopped at every traffic light until it went green, she didn't step on cracks along the pavement, she made sure not to trudge her feet as she walked, she brought a jacket with her when it was cold, even an umbrella sometimes.

"Zhong Yeseul?" The voice of the pharmacist called and Yeseul snapped out of her thoughts to reach for the medicine, simple folic acid supplements and ginger capsules to help with the morning sickness that grew worse second by second.

"Yeseul?" A voice called from behind her and she turned to see a familiar old face. Mixed emotions surged through her as she came to recognise who it was, but the pronounced bump on the person only made her eyes soften.

"Youngmi" she said, bowing out of whatever respect was left for her.

"What are you doing here?" She asked and Yeseul smiled awkwardly

"It's a pharmacy, what else would I be doing here?" She asked and Youngmi awkwardly nodded, noticing how Yeseul's eyes barely left her bump.

"I'm 6 months in" Youngmi said with a soft chuckle, motioning for Yeseul to accompany her while she walked out of the store.

"How are you feeling?" Yeseul asked and Youngmi sighed

"It's better than the first three months but, god the back pain in unreal" she complained and Yeseul smiled sympathetically

"How many weeks are you?" She asked and Yeseul furrowed her brows

"How did you-"

"Mother's intuition i guess" she smiled and Yeseul chuckled

"Just over 8 weeks" Yeseul smiled, a sad smile none the less.

"Must be hard going through it alone without Jaemin, i heard he's in a coma right now. Im sorry" She said genuinely and Yeseul smiled as best as she could

"I have the guys and my friends to help around at least...but yeah it's...it's hard" she said and Youngmi nodded

"I have to get going soon but, here's my number. Contact me if you ever need anything or advice, even a new doctor for a second opinion. Pregnancies can get complicated sometimes. I know we didn't leave things at a good part but us young mums have to stick together" Youngmi said and Yeseul nodded, thankful that she was talking to someone who was experiencing what she was going through

"You should also try to book a quad test.. or whatever its called. The test that checks for abnormalities... we both know Jaemin's illness is genetic so just play it safe" Youngmi advised and Yeseul nodded

"Do you live around here?" Yeseul asked, standing up and helping Youngmi onto her feet

"A but further from here but close enough" she said as she saw the cab approach her shortly after. The two bid each other goodbye before Yeseul sent her off, leaving to her own place soon after.

Upon entering the apartment the smell of pizza immediately made a feeling of retching creep up onto her, running to the bathroom to empty the contents of her stomach as soon as she walked through the door. Hearing this, Jeno and Jisung glanced at each other worriedly before going to check if she was okay.

"What's wrong?" Jeno asked, rubbing her back to soothe her down

"The pizza smells gross" She said, only retching even more as she smelled the two boys that had the scent bouncing off them.

"I'll go change" Jeno said quickly, scurrying his feet with Jisung beside him leaving to the living room.

"Is she alright?" Jeyi asked worriedly and Jeno nodded with a small sigh

"The pizza smell triggers nausea" he said

"Jesus she hates the smell of everything at this point" Jeyi said worriedly, not knowing what to cook up to make her feel better

"Just make a soup or something? She just threw up so she needs lots of fluids" Renjun said from the living room and Jeyi nodded

Yeseul groaned as she finished brushing her teeth to rid herself of the taste. She climbed into the covers of her bed, trying to put herself to sleep to escape the torture of being sick yet her stomach craved for food.

"I'm back" Jeno said cautiously entering the room with a new hoodie on. He placed the soup near the bed stand in hopes that the smell didnt make her too sick only to find her slowly falling asleep.

"Hey...you need to eat" he said, shaking her awake but she whined

"I'm tired" she said, clenching her eyes shut

"I know, but you have to eat, for the baby at least" he said, helping her sit up as she grumbled about how everything she had to do was baby oriented

"I'm actually about to pass out" she said mumbling her words as she leaned forward to sleep on his shoulder. He fixed the pillows behind her to support her when she sat upright before taking spoonfuls of the rice and soup to feed her.

"I promise just five spoons and I'll let you sleep" he said looking at her pout and she nodded, convincing herself that she needed the energy since the baby was already taking so much out of her.

Usually at times like this to make herself feel better she would imagine Jeno was Jaemin, taking care of her and the baby, making sure she was eating, resting, holding her hair back when she threw up. But it wasn't him. The more time that passed the harder it was to imagine him. She started to visit him less, she didn't have the energy to and the Hospital was further than she liked. Staring at an almost lifeless, yet still so peaceful looking Jaemin wasn't the same as seeing him as usual. She missed his smile, his touch, his voice, the way his eyes would crinkle at the side and the way his lips stretched upwards even at the simplest of words.

He was a ray of sunshine in her life and it hurt her to not see him, she blamed herself for taking him for granted sometimes.

"There, all done" Jeno said slowly as he noticed the look on her face as she reminisced about the boy she loved. His shoulders slumped in sympathy and she slowly nodded her head with barely a smile, showing she was grateful but just had no energy to thank him. He understood completely, helping her back into the covers.

"He'll be okay" Jeno whispered, although he himself was unsure at this point. Jaemin wasn't meant to be in a coma, not for this long at least. The more days passed the more nervous they got.

"Can you stay with me" she whispered before he could leave the room, how could he ever refuse?

He slowly climbed into the covers beside her, allowing her to bury herself deeper into his arms, she still had every effect on him and he hated it. He hated loving a girl that clearly loved another man. He kept telling himself it wasn't love but the more he took care of her, the more he couldn't resist wishing he had her in a family of his own.

"Go to sleep, I'm right here" Jeno said as he felt her muffled sobs in his chest, lifting the covers to cover her body even more. She silenced her cries, mustering up whatever courage and energy she had left to fight for her and for the baby. It's what Jaemin would have wanted.