Led to Mr. Billionaire

CHAPTER ONE

How do we know the ones we love,

when betrayal stares us in the face?

How do we erase the ones we lost,

when we can't tell what's fake?

©Ouwatoyosi

9 years ago

Standing in front of these huge doors, I battled within myself whether I should enter or not. My heart was heavy as I looked at the little girl in my arms and I just want to let it out. I wanted to be strong or at least pretend to be so I can get through this but my tears had a mind of its own as it keeps threatening to fall. My black hoodie was protecting me from the cold I was feeling inside and out. Taking a huge whiff of breath, I entered into the church. It was empty, except for the light in the inner room showing that someone was around, probably the pastor. I took my seat at the back as I just stared at the cross on the wall while cradling my sleeping little one.

"Why?" my lips finally move as it was the only thing I could utter. I just couldn't understand why these kinds of things happen, why I have to be a part of it but mostly why was I born.

"I really don't understand." I say again, my tears were threatening to fall as I stared hard at the cross on the wall. My mind was a jumbled mess and I couldn't get my head straight. I always knew this was bound to happen but I never knew I would have such a hard time accepting the fact that bothered me ever since I could understand the words that came out of an adult's lip. My lips quivered as my tears fell, I put my hand on my chest to try and ease my breathing as I was alone and didn't want to cause a noise but it didn't seem to work. I sobbed harder trying to grasp my situation as it is making my sobs louder as it filled the whole church.

"People say you can make things happen. They say you give peace and help to those who need it, please give me some of that peace now" my sobs became even louder as I spoke to the cross. hoping God was at least hearing me.

"If you can hear me, please help me. help me know what to do next because I am lost" I wasn't born a Christian, in fact my parents never believed and were seriously against it but my situation wasn't one I found funny and I just needed to let it out.

"He hears you, you know" I jump at the voice and look back to see a man probably in his late 40's looking back at me. He sees the baby in my arms and smiles with compassion, at least that's what I think it is.

"God always listens to those who call out to him for help and he always helps them" he said to me softly while looking at the cross. My head hung low as the tears were making their way back to my eyes.

"Will he help me?" I couldn't help but ask, I was desperate and in need of understanding.

"He always does, however it may not be in the way you expect or want but everything comes together in the long run that is why we must be patient." My sobs break out because I didn't think I had the time to wait long. I was in need of help, immediate help. I felt a hand on my shoulder making me stop crying for a moment.

"Let it out. It is always best to tell him exactly how you feel even though he already knows. He has already begun the process of helping you, you just need to open your eyes and heart to see and understand what he has set for you. It is always hard to believe what you cannot see but that's what brings hope and strength to keep going" He says patting my back reassuringly and I did just that, I let everything out.

The loud noise of the hall brings me out of my memories. I quickly pack up my things since the lecture was over.

"Finally, I thought the lecturer wanted to use overtime, I would have fainted from boredom" Praise said while putting her hands on her head in frustration while I just have a little sad smile on my face. My memories were not always one to be proud off but they never leave me, no, instead it's like I keep having a replay every single time and it's exhausting.