Internet boyfriend ~ D.S.

19

SERENITY

as I drive down the dark road, all I can think about is Drew and all the hurtful things he said to me. It's not forgivable. Not to me.

He knows how much that night affected me and he still said that. I had nightmares every night, I still do sometimes.

I almost died. I watched him get shot and killed in front of me, in my home.

And he uses that against me?

I clench my jaw not wanting to cry anymore.

I don't need him. I don't need anyone.

I don't depend on anyone.

I was doing fine on my own, I had a job and went to school, I had a life and he just comes in and tells me to move in with him.

I scoff shaking my head. He said to take my time. He said I didn't need to get a job yet.

Screw him.

-

I get out of my car and go up to my childhood home where my parents still live.

I knock on the door and my mom opens it with a sad smile, "my baby" I can't hold it in anymore. Tears spill out of my eyes and I walk into her arms.

She holds me tightly and rubs my back "it's going to be okay, my baby" she says, and I cry on her shoulder.

My dad walks over and wraps his arms around us "do I need to shoot him?" I sniffle and laugh a little before pulling away and my mom wipes my cheeks.

"Yes, please" I say and they both smile at me.

"Come inside. Howard, go get her luggage" she says to my dad while pulling me inside.

We go to the couch and she sits me down "I'll make you some tea. Lay down" I do as she says and she goes to the kitchen.

My dad walks in "how much stuff do you have?" I smile a little at him "my car is full" he huffs and brings them to my old room.

"Here you go, sweets" my mom says and I sit up taking it from her "thank you momma" I whisper taking a sip.

The burning tea feels good running down my dry throat.

My mom sits beside me and rubs my back "what happened?" She asks softly "we got into an argument. It was really bad momma. I can't forgive him for this one. Not this time"

She rubs my back "what did he say?" I lick my lips not really wanting to tell her "it was about angus" her jaw clenches and she breathes out "that dickhead" I laugh a little and she smiles "he doesn't deserve you're forgiveness. Or your love if he's going to waste it" she kisses my temple "come on. You need to rest"

She grabs my tea and my hand, standing up with me.

We go to my room as dad brings some more boxes in whine sweating.

"Why is this so heavy?" He asks holding a box and my mom rolls her eyes before putting my tea down on my desk and taking it from him without a problem.

She puts it with the rest and I smile at them "you're a witch. Your mother is a witch" my dad says and she pulls him out and closes my door.

"Let her sleep" I hear her say and I grab my tea before taking my shoes off and sitting on my bed.

I wipe my nose with the sleeve of Drew's black sweater and drink the rest of my tea.

I turn the lights off and close my curtains before laying down and immediately falling asleep.

-

I gasp sitting up and close my eyes as tears fall off my cheeks and onto my blanket, I harshly wipe my cheeks and push my blanket off of me before standing up and walking over to my sliding glass door.

I open it and walk out onto the balcony. I hold onto the railing as I look out at the ocean, a small smile appears on my lips as I listen to the waves crashing into one another.

My phone rings from inside so I turn my head before walking into my room and grabbing my phone.

I look at the screen and swallow the lump in my throat, he stops and I toss my phone but groan annoyed when he calls again so I answer.

"What?!" I ask harshly and hear him sniffle "renny..." I scoff and shake my head "what do you want Drew?" I ask and close my eyes as I go back outside and sit down, hanging my legs over the balcony.

"Where are you? Please. I just..." he sighs and my eyes water "I need to see you" I shake my head and lick my lips "I don't want to see you" I say and put my hand over my mouth as a tear rolls down my cheek.

I clear my throat "I'm not going to do this again. I can't. I can't do that to myself. You-" he cuts me off "I know. I know. I don't know why I said it but... I am so sorry, Renny. I was being stupid and-" this time I cut him off.

"You used the worst night of my life against me, Drew. I almost died. I watched- and you just said it like it didn't mean anything. Like it wasn't a big deal" I sniffle and wipe my cheeks.

"Please, just- just come home" he whispers and I shake my head "I can't. We're over Drew"

"No. Don't- don't say that" I look out at the ocean and take a deep breath "please stop calling me. Okay? Just don't call me again. You hurt me and I'm not going through that again. You've been so angry with me for no reason. I've never done anything but be there for you and support you and this is what I get? I love you but I can't." My voice breaks at some points and I clear my throat.

"Goodbye Drew" I whisper and hang up before he can say anything else.

I breathe out and wipe my cheeks "you did the right thing" I turn my head seeing my dad standing there.

I hiccup and he sits beside me, handing me a glass of water. "You always get the hiccups when you cry" he says smiling a little at me. I drink some of the water and hiccup while drinking it.

"How did you know I was up?" He smiles at me "I always know. Plus I can hear you walking around from downstairs. When I came up you were already in the phone so I thought I'd grab you some water"

I smile at him and lean my head on his shoulder.

"It was that bad?" I nod against his shoulder as I look out at the waves "it was really bad, dad. I promised myself after Angus that I wouldn't put myself through that again" he sighs and pats my knee.

"You deserve more than this world has given you, my sweet girl" I smile and laugh a little while sniffling "you always say that" he hums nodding "because it's true. What you went through, no one should ever go through. And if he truly loved you, he wouldn't have said whatever he said"

I look up at him and smile softly "i just want to forget about all of it" he smiles at me "surfing?" I nod "yes. Definitely" he smiles and kisses my forehead "I found a great spot. You'll love it" he stands up "get some rest, my little dove" I nod and he walks back into my room and out the door.

I breathe in the air and look out at the stars.

I smile now realizing how much I missed my home.