Chasing Kate

Chapter 43. Epilogue.

I'm not sure how, but I came out of that. You know, my overdose.

My world was turned upside from the hostility I felt within myself for allowing my brain to take me to that head space.

I mourned the loss of Kate & Rhett for quite sometime. Everything I done that summer at my parents house was bland and lackluster.

It's funny how my mind had made up this imaginary place for us. It's insane to think of the ache I felt deep in my soul when I woke up in that empty hospital room.

I spent the last week of my summer break with Davis at his parents lake house. Even then I was half present in our conversations, even now a year and half later Kate-Anna plagues my dreams.

I've graduated now and set my sights on making a career for myself. I've finalize the steps of my English major and I'm excited to have gotten a job.

I, Lucas Wesley am the new writer for the "We Weekly" magazine. The job is perfect actually, it's located in 2 cities over from Compton, in Andover.

I've settled for an apartment between Compton and Andover so I can frequently visit my mother.

She is doing fair, but the realization of almost losing her second son hit her like a semi truck and she has sought the help of a therapist. She's improving daily and I hate that I put her through so much.

"All is well that ends well, Lucas". My mother always said. That statement is such a narcissistic thing to say. What happens when all is well and you end it badly? You get this, this neutral plane I'm living in. There's no highs nor lows. I'm astounded that I have had the ability to remain sober but that doesn't mean the urge doesn't run rampant in my veins.

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I would be joking if I said that I didn't think about her a lot. Honestly, a lot of the time. It's the silence that gets me, creeps in and hurts me to the bone.

In the silence, I can hear her, I can feel her, I have such a need for her. The words that are unspoken in this silence are the loudest. Deafening even.

At night, I wonder about her the most. Even when I don't want her to, she slithers her way into my room. I almost hate it, but I love it so much.

Mind is a torturous being, and I am always it's victim.

Will this hurt get any less sharp? I damn sure hope so.

I was fending fair by myself in college, I wasn't who I wanted to be, and I lived on the edge, day by day. I realize what happened needed to happen for me to get a grip on myself, before I completely lost my shit. However, that still doesn't make this easier.

Days are long, nights are longer. Minutes pass as hours and hours pass as days in the silent world with Kate and our fictional son.

My heart mourns for them, and I am numb to this grief that I was once foreign to.

Take it one day at a time, Lucas. One day at a time.
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It's a chilly Wednesday evening, the day before Thanksgiving and I am at my parents house.

I completed my first month of work and I have sense of achievement on my shoulders.

My mother sent me on errands to the grocers in Compton to pick up last minute supplies for our yearly Wesley dinner. My fathers colleagues and their families attend, as well as my grandparents and aunts.

I'm in a rush to get back as I walk to the automatic door of the store, looking down and memorizing every item to make a quick trip.

I feel the warmth of the building on my face as the doors open without me looking up.

I heard her, before I saw her and I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Cmon. We got to hurry." She said.
I stood stock still. My eyes widened and I could feel the pulse of my heart in my throat.

She glanced up as she wrapped her scarf around her neck and her beautiful blue eyes met mine.

"Lucas? Lucas is that you?" She smiled at me.

I smiled back knowing my words would fail me.

"What are you doing here?" She asked as she came and hugged me.

I embraced her, committing each part of her to my memory, inhaling the scent of her freshly washed hair.

"Last minute errands for my mother." I finally said as we broke the connection.

"Oh I see. We are getting ready to have dinner at my parents, so I can to pick up a pumpkin pie. " She laughed.

"How are you?" She asked.
Miserable. I miss you, I wanted to say.

"I'm good. Just started working and I'm doing good. You?" I asked

She smiled at me. "That's great to hear. I'm good, too."

"You look good, Kate. " I replied catching her off guard.

"You too, Lucas." She said as she tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

I knelt down and looked her company in the eye. He was the cutest little brown haired little boy I ever saw, about 4 and half years old.

"And who is this?" I asked.

"Lucas." Kate said down to me.
I looked up, questionably.

"Lucas, this... This is Rhett."

And in this moment,
All is well, that ends well.