Chasing Kate

Chapter 27. Like a Hurricane.

Kate-Anna's POV.

I can hear Lucas and Rhett giggling and making monster noises in the other room while I'm on the phone ordering takeout.

I cannot believe that I have spent all this time hiding Rhett from Lucas and he just accepted him like it didn't matter. It does matter, and it matters to me that he is so calm about this.

I keep waiting for him to come into the kitchen, to scream at me. To mentally hurt me the way I know he is right now, but he doesn't.

I make small talk at dinner and I wince every time that he speaks at the table. Is this the calm before the storm? I know the second he erupts is going to be like a hurricane ripping through a town.

I'm a fool for thinking that not telling Lucas that he was going to be a father was the best thing. It WAS in my best interest, but not for Rhett. I tried to justify it all these years and I seemed to be doing a convincing job of that to everyone in my decision, including Luke.

I didn't tell Luke about Rhett because the thought of Lucas broke my heart. He had my heart since I was 16, seeing his face when I threw open that door at the party where he had cheated on me is still burned in my mind.

My body still can feel his absence, I can still feel the void within myself of him not being there.

I wanted to hate him, I wanted to punish him for hurting me. I got so caught up in my vindictive state of mind, I failed to realize that it was Rhett who was suffering, not me.

Hearing the giggles and seeing the way that Lucas is with Rhett makes me regret that decision a million times over. Grief overwhelmed me and I hoped to make it through this evening without a mental breakdown. I'm broken and I was blinded to see that it was me who caused it.

Sure, Lucas is a lot of things. He has some screwed up issues. He's slept with more women that I care to know, he's a recovering addict, he's bitter and he broke my heart. Regardless though, he's still Rhett's father.

These 3 years that Luke has been gone have been some really trying times for me, without the help of mine and Lucas' parents I wouldn't have been able to complete my nursing degree, without them I wouldn't be able to work and I would have been alone in this. There were nights I resented Luke for being at OSU, for having time to chase women and party. All the while I sat here and studying until I passed out only to wake up to tend to a baby. It was in my selfishness, that I learned to be so angry at him. I wasted so much time already and I just wanted him to know how truly sorry I was.

My heart had a hole in it and if I could have done it all over again, I would.

Rhett's yawn broke my trance and I walked behind his father to place him in his bed.

I stayed by the door, silent, whilst Luke patting his small body. He leaned down and whispered " I love you, Little Dude" to my sleeping boy. He said it like it was a causal thing but I knew that it held so much meaning to him. I had always dreamed that it would be like this.

Luke lingered by Rhett and I took that as my cue to give him a moment alone. I walked into the living room and started folding laundry.

A few moments later I caught a dark shadow standing before me. I could see that his face was wet, had he been crying?

I wanted him to stay, I wanted to sit and talk to him.

"I better get going." He said. My heart fell.

"Ok." I said, barely.

My eyes watch him as he gathered his keys and I wanted him to know how sorry I was.