Convicted Innocence (1)

Chapter 10

Another week had passed, I am going to see her. Paliko na sana ako going to her office ng nakita ko ito sa hindi kalayuan. Tatawagin ko na sana siya nang may biglang dumating na lalaki at niyakap niya si Ma'am. I smiled because she looks so cute snuggling into that man's arms. A tear escape from my eyes when the man leaned on and they kissed.

Namanhid ang buo kong katawan, is that her boyfriend? And they're kissing? Tumalikod ako at sigurado akong nakita niya ako pero hindi man lang ito nagulat.

I smiled sadly at that thought.

I am walking in the hallway going to the faculty to pass my final projects for this sem. I saw her.

Instead of greeting her like the usual ay hindi ko na lang ito pinansin. She's with someone, I just smiled sadly nang makalampas ako sa kanila. So, this is how it feels. This is the love that they are talking about? I desire it but it made me feel like I had to undo my decision of wanting it.

Nakaupo ako ngayon dito sa bench sa isang park malapit sa bahay. Dito na ako umuwi since sembreak na rin naman. I am looking at her, she's really gorgeous kahit sa picture. Nakayuko lang ako when a pair of shoes appeared in my sight. Tinago ko ang phone ko at nag-angat ako ng tingin kasi we are wearing the same. Her she is, standing in front of me.

"Hi?" Patanong kong bati sa kanya.

"You look fine today." I added before smiling again.

"Take a seat." Offering her the left side of the bench.

"Why?" I asked when she didn't talk. "What took you so long?"

"When I am asking if you are free, then you will say you are not. It is because you are with him, right?" I added.

"I am not waiting for your yes, you know. I am waiting for you to say that you can't love me." I said while smiling.

"Am I that stupid for you?" I asked once again before facing her and seeing she was looking straight at me.

"Am I?" I continued.

No matter how cold she looked at me ay hindi ako nag-iwas ng tingin which is surprising kasi it's colder right now.

"So, Am I?" I asked again with a pleading look in my eyes.

"No." She finally answered.

"Then, why?" I asked her again.

"Why did you make me feel that I am? You could have just told me; you make me look like a fool. I thought there was something I could hold onto. The last drop of chance was snatched away from me, and you know what's worse? You're the one who gave it yet you took it away". I said while the tears were streaming down my cheeks because I can't help it.

She just looked away, I sighed before speaking again.

"Despite this feeling, I have right now. I am happy because I was able to feel you. I am sorry for pushing myself on you. I knew it from the start but I still push through. Thank you for making me feel what happiness feels like. I finally know what it is". I said while looking at the kids playing.

Namataan ko sa isang banda ang lalaki, magkasama siguro silang pumunta rito. I smiled of because of that, I am in pain right now.

"Someone's waiting for you, please be happy." I said before standing in front of her.

"Paano ako lalaban kung ang ipinaglalaban ko ay lumalaban kasama ang iba? Para kang bola sa laro, mas gugustohin kong matalo dahil hinawakan kita ng matagal kaysa ipinasa pero talo pa rin naman sa huli. Selfish right? Pero hindi ko pa rin magawa kasi hindi ka naman akin." Saad ko, she has the look of pleading.