Fairy Tail Origins One-Shots!

Lololololol Im bored and Writers Block is sh*t (Incorrect Quotes)

Kit : What would you say if I jumped out of a plane with no parachute?
Lucas : Don't do that!!
Kit :
Kit : Yeahhhhhh so what if I told you that I jumped out of a plane with no parachute three years ago?

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Michael: *Takes a sip of milk and gags*
Michael: Oh god, is this expired?!!
Michael: ...
Michael: *Takes another sip of milk*

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David : I am a father
Kay : That's a plant
David : They're my Blood, okay?

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Ritchie: Did you know that if you break a bone, it will heal back stronger than before?
Mario: So your telling me I should break every bone in my body and become invincible
Brandon: No-

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Viper: I think it's about time to start fucking some shit up
Pat: Ohhhh No.
Viper: Ohhhhh Yesssss-

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Ritchie to David and Inmo : And Remember! If I get mad at you, it's only because you are doing it all wrong.

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Mario: Ah, ready for another fantastic day of being better than David!!

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Ritchie: David, I think your acting a little immature.
David: Who said I was acting?

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Mario: Dude, you better shut the fuck up before I look at you and realize that I've fallen in love with you.
David, blushing: I-
Mario: I'm serious, Stop it.

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Kit: How do I politely tell somebody that I really want to hit them face with a brick repeatedly?
Mario: One wishes to aquatint your facial structure with a rigidly edged object, fundamentally used in the construction of walls
repeatedly.
Kit: ...
David: That was poetry
Lucas: That was all of you needing therapy

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Brandon: So guys yeah I think my guardian angel is on Drugs-

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Ritchie: Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of Sarcasm?
Eden, scoffing: Maybe if you can ask questions without the usual level of fucking stupid-

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Brandon, entering the room: I need a favor-
Lucas: Babe, I am not giving you a lap dance again.
David: Lap Dance?!!
Mario: Again?!!

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Devin: A sprite is anything not static
Michael: A sprite is a variable object, weather it be 2d or 3d.
Kit: A sprite is a fucking soda
Kit: You goddamn geek ass bastards.

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Blake: Mario! You nearly died!!
Mario: You call it a near death experience, I call it a vibe check from god.

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Lucas: Heres a fun idea! We hang out under the mistletoe but instead of kissing whoever is underneath it, we fight them instead!!!
Brandon: Yeah no we are not doing that-
Polly: Mistlefoe
Brandon: DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM-

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Colin: Well we can't tell you because you're not a part of the club!
David: What Club?
Mitch: The 'hating David' club
David: ...The fuck?! I should be the leader of that club!!

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Kit: What do you want, Dickbag?
Inmo with a Random spark of genius: Tell me, do you just pair totally random obscenities with equally random nouns? Cocklamp? Asscarriage? Shitrooster? Is that how this works?
Kit: Note to self; Definitely call somebody a Shitrooster

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Bryan: Okay, so we have a problem
Devin: Let me guess, David caused it?
Lucas: Bro gimme a sec, I'm not drunk enough to listen to this yet
Kit: And? It's another Tuesday. What's your point?
Mitch: Would shooting solve this problem? No? Then shut up.
Blake: If your talking about the giant fire, that's the solution to yesterday's problem
Bryan: ...
Bryan: I was talking about the microwave-

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David, when inmo does literally anything; Wow, my expectations were low, but Damn-

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Allumos - Is this the part you tell me that if I hurt her, you'll kill me?
Mario: No. If you hurt Kit, she is 100 percent perfectly capable of killing you with her own equally menacing glare

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Mario: Do you think that David would throw himself in front of a car for me?
Lucas: I'm pretty sure David would throw himself in front of a car just for fun.

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Damn. I found like the best fucking list of these. These are really good. Anyways, Yeah I was bored as shit so I did this. ANYWAYSSSSSS, Hope y'all are enjoyed!

(Can you guys like send in ideas by the way, because my mind is dry as a fucking desert)

Peace Slayer Squad!!!

- YO BOI CHEESE 🧀