A light in the darkness

Chapter 23

Anna had sat on her bed and was leaning on the fluffy pillows behind her. A book was open in her lap. Her eyes were fixed on the pages in front of her but her mind was miles away. A week had passed since the Xander incident and it was three days since she was back to the mansion, and to say she was sick of it was an underestimate.

Everyone around the mansion, especially Bella was treating her like a china doll that could break at any moment. Mason had dismissed her guards, indicating he trusted her fully now.  They had changed her room so she wouldn't feel sick again from remembering bad memories and Bella was watching her like a hawk, forcing her to stay in bed all day. 

She desperately wanted to go out of the room, but everywhere reminded her of him, his powerful presence that was sending waves of strength and dominance around, his intense eyes that were always watchful and had begun to feel her with peace recently.

As much as she had tried to hate him, she just couldn't. She was as much to blame as him. She hated how weak she was. She had not even put a fight against him, letting him do what he desired. She could have shouted sooner, slapped him, kicked him where the sun doesn't shine, but she had just stood there, like a deer caught in headlights, letting this disaster happen. She was to blame for destroying what emotions they had developed for each other.

He was not home. None of the men were in fact. Even Mason had only come home one night and Anna had not questioned it. In fact, she had not spoken much other than a few mumbles here and there. She didn't need to ask in fact. She knew it was all because of her so she would feel safe and that was another reason for her to blame herself. She was the reason the family had split and could not feel free in their home.

A conversation she had with Sofia earlier replayed in her mind.

Sofia had sat in front of Anna on the bed as they were playing with her dolls. Shawn was asleep and Anna had found a bored Sofia in her room, seeking a playmate.

"Anna." called Sofia and Anna looked up at the little girl who had sat in front of her in her pink pajamas. 

Anna pushed Sofia's hair out of her face and forced a smile. "Yes, dear?" she asked.

"Does your heart hurt?" asked Sofia as she crawled and sat on Anna's lap and stared into her eyes.

"It did. I'm fine now, Sofie." said Anna and kissed Sofia's forehead.

"Did your heart hurt because of uncle Xander?" asked Sofia curiously and Anna's heart sank.

"What?" she whispered shocked. "What are you talking about, Sof?"

"I heard mummy and daddy talking." answered Sofia and began to play with a strand of Anna's hair with a cute pout on her lips. "Daddy said your heart is painful because of uncle Xander and he deserved to be punished. What does punish mean, Anna? "

Anna gulped hard and looked away, not knowing what to say to the little girl. Sofia put both of her small hands on Anna's cheeks and forced her to look down at her. 

"Where is Xandy?"  she asked. "When will he come home? Can we all play together again? Please?"

Anna hugged Sofia to her chest, not wanting the innocent girl to see the tears breaming in her eyes. She closed her eyes tightly as tears rolled down her face. She hated herself to be the reason for this discomfort in the family.

"I'm so sorry, Sofie." she said and pulled the little girl more into her chest wanting the ache in her heart to go away. "He will come home, soon and he will play with you so much."