*trigger! This talks about self harm so if you are uncomfortable about reading it I totally understand*
The only thing I thought of doing after 9 days without Calum is to just....die. I've been unwanted my whole life. It's nothing new. I can't take care of this baby alone. I know nothing about being a mother! I'm only 18..
I haven't self harmed in over a year. Nothing is stopping me now. Before I did anything, I wrote Cal a note.
My Love,
I am so sorry this happened. I knew you weren't ready for a child. I should have just left when I had the chance. I love you with everything I have. But I'm sorry you don't feel the same. I will be gone soon enough. Don't worry. You are free now.
Love, MorganSlipping on my shoes, I grabbed my keys and headed out the door.
I knew cal would stay at Michael's so that is where I went. I knocked on the door and thankfully Mike opened it. "Give this is Calum please." And I headed off. I didn't want a chance for them to change my mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The blade so close to my wrist, I can feel the coldness radiating off of it. Tears are flying everywhere. I am just a hot mess. The only thing that is on my mind..
I just want to die.
After a few slashes on my nearest vein, I heard the front door open and my name being called by the one and only Calum Hood. My heart shattered and I did a few more before dropping the blade. I am done now. I am bleeding out and there is nothing he will do. He doesn't love me.
The bathroom door was locked down and I saw a distraught Cal come rushing toward me. "What the hell are you doing?! You can't leave me! You can't. What have you done!" He kept yelling right at me. It wasn't making anything better. He picked me up and ran to his car.
-----------
I woke up in his car. My arms were bandaged and cleaned up. Calum was driving and...crying? "Hi." I said barely audible. He pulled over and wrapped his arms around me. I embraced him and just let it all out. I was so confused and upset that he kept me alive in this shitty world.
"I am...am so sorry. I am so sorry I left you like that. Thinking I didn't love you. I love you more than anything I've ever loved. I was just trying to get everything sorted out in my head, but I guess at the same time I was pushing you away." He took my hand in his and drove.