Beautiful Boy

poetry club

amara haven

"Amara."

"Hm?" I rubbed my eyes groggily, my head pounding as soon as I woke up.

"Your phone is ringing," Kinsley held my phone out to me.

"Thank you," I said, sitting up. I yawned as I answered.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hey, Amara, it's David. I just wanted to let you know that Nicolas was just accepted to NYU."

"Oh, that's amazing. We always wanted to go there," I replied, hiding the hurt in my voice.

It was our dream to attend NYU together. To share a dorm and go to classes. To explore New York just the two of us.

And now he was doing that alone.

"Yeah, yeah, we're all pretty excited over here," David said, I could tell he was smiling, "How are you?"

"Oh, I'm alright, thanks," I lied.

"Your prom is coming up, right? In June?"

"Yeah," I swallowed, "There's a week left of school."

"That's awesome. You'll have to let me know how it goes. I've gotta run, talk to you soon."

"Yep. Bye David," I said, hanging up.

I leaned my head on the wall behind me.

"You okay?" Kinsley asked.

"Fine," I muttered.

"He relapsed nearly four weeks ago, Am, he's doing better now," she assured.

"You don't get it, Kins. And god, I hope you never will. That's not how being an addict works. You find a way to get the substance, no matter what stands in your way. He's off to New York with no one by his side. He's going to relapse again. I know it," I sighed.

She looked at my door, "Breakfast is ready. It's seven-thirty so, uhm, you might want to get up and get ready."

I nodded.

~

"Do you have any drama lately?" Leah asked, leaning on the locker beside mine as I grabbed my books and put my bag away.

"Why?" I asked.

"I don't know," she inspected her newly done nails, "I'm just bored. There's nothing dramatic happening with anyone. So news?"

"Not really," I shrugged, "Nicolas is going to NYU."

"That's it?" She scrunched her eyebrows.

I nodded.

"Why won't something crazy happen," she whined.

"Why don't you go and talk to Emily or something, she probably has drama," I suggested.

"Oh! That's a good idea," she quipped, "Laters."

I shut my locker as she ran off, heading to class.

Halfway to Room 203, I was approached by a person I didn't recognise.

"Hey, Amara," she smiled.

"Hey," I replied, "Sorry, do I know you?"

"Oh, my apologies. No, probably not. I'm Kate," she held out a hand.

"Amara," I shook her hand, feeling a little stupid for saying my name as she already knew it.

"You can call me Katie, everyone does. Well- the few people that take nits at me do. I'm running a poetry club for the last week of school. Mr Kalensin suggested that I ask you," she said, pushing her wayfare glasses further onto her nose.

"Oh, yeah, uhm, do you have a schedule?" I asked.

She nodded excitedly, handing me a sheet of paper.

"We'll have our first meet tonight after school in the library," she enthused.

"Yeah, I'll be there," I smiled.

"Great, thank you!" She cheered, bouncing away.

I smiled to myself as I walked to class.

What a sweetheart she was.

~

"Amara, you made it!" Kate grinned widely as I entered the library.

I returned her smile, observing the people in the group.

I recognised no one, until I glanced at a table to see Kash sitting alone, his nose in a book.

I sighed, contemplating if it was worth approaching him.

Before I had the chance to decide, he looked up and waved me over.

I sat down next to him.

"Hello," he quipped, returning to his book.

"Hey," I muttered.

"Alright, this is everyone. Hey guys, I'm Kate and welcome to the Poetry club! I was thinking that today we could kind of get to know each other and then tomorrow we can start looking at poems," Kate said, grabbing everyone's attention.

I cringed.

Getting to know people? What would I say? 'Hey, I'm Amara. My best friend chose drugs over me and now I'm an alcoholic.'

"Let's start on the left, so uhm, Kash, go ahead," she suggested.

He smiled, "Hey everyone. I'm Kash. I guess, uhm- I'm 17 and I love Lord Byron and Mozart."

She nodded, and then looked at me.

"Hey, I'm Amara. 18, and I like pretty much every writer and poet from the 1800s to the 1900s. And I love Ludovico Einaudi," I said.

She smiled, moving on to the next person.

I would listen for their name, and then ignore everything else they said.

Ashton, Aaron, Alexander, Scarlette, Rosemary, Mei Linn, and Walker.

"Okay! Cool, well, I'm Kate. 17, and I love everything artsy from the olden days. Which is why I wanted to do a weeklong poetry club to end the school year," Kate grinned widely.

The group went around sharing their favourite classical music and their favourite poem.

Everyone seemed friendly, the nine of us easing through conversation.

I hadn't ever known that there were more people like me.

Like me.

And like Nic.

We excluded ourselves from everything because we had each other.

But when he cut me off, I was hit in the face by a realisation that he was my only friend.

Then Leah, who had just ditched her toxic friends, introduced herself and we became friends.

She wasn't always the best, but she was sweet and meant well.

But now?

Now, I had the opportunity to make eight new friends and have eight people to spend the last week of school with.

The only problem is that most people turn away when they meet the real you.

And the real me is a broken alcoholic that lost her best friend to drugs.

Drugs, for crying out loud.

I understood why.

Drugs were always a better friend to Nicolas than I ever was.