Beautiful Boy

cemetery

amara haven

"Will you please tell me where we're going?" I begged.

"Just trust me, okay?" He said.

I rolled my eyes.

"I hate surprises," I muttered.

"I know, but you'll freak out if I tell you," he shrugged.

"Because that makes me feel so much better," I crossed my arms.

"You don't have anything to be anxious about, Am, I promise," he said.

"I'm not anxious," I defended.

"You are, you're doing that thing where you close in on yourself," he said.

I stayed quiet, knowing he was right, I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my head on them.

"Mara," Nic said softly.

"Mhm?" I muttered.

"Do you want to go home?" He asked.

"No," I replied, "I just don't get why you won't tell me where we're going."

"I told you why," he said.

"Is this any better?" I joked.

He chuckled, "Alright, alright. I'm taking you to the cemetery where your Dad is. I think it'll be good if you have a chance to say a proper goodbye before we leave."

I hesitated.

"If you don't want to, we can turn around," he offered.

"No, no it's okay," I said, "I- I think you're right."

He reached over and took one of my hands, squeezing gently.

The rest of the car ride was quiet, the radio pursuing the only noise.

After a painfully long ten minutes, we were at the cemetery, Nic turned off the car.

"Do you want me to come with you or wait here?" He asked.

I hesitated, thinking.

I knew I wanted him with me, but I felt a little silly saying it.

"I don't mind," I muttered.

"You're so helpful," he teased, getting out of the car, I rolled my eyes and repeated his actions.

The sky was covered by a few lonely clouds, and the sun was warm, casting a shiny effect on some of the gravestones.

Nic tucked me under his arm as we walked towards my Father's grave.

I took a shaky breath, hesitating more the closer we got.

As we took the last few steps to the headstone, I felt my tears come in.

Nic rubbed my shoulder reassuringly.

I took another breath and leaned down to touch the warm stone.

"Hey, Dad," I whispered, a few tears escaping my eyes.

"I'm gonna walk around a bit, okay?" Nic said.

I nodded.

As soon as I felt his presence disappear, I broke down, losing my strength and sitting down.

I rested my head against the stone.

"I miss you a lot," I muttered, "Nic's back, though, which is... nice. He overdosed not long after you and, well, we ended up meeting in a diner in New York. And we're leaving for LA tomorrow," I paused, wiping my nose on my sleeve, "I hate you for leaving me, but it woke me up to the reality of drugs and alcohol. And what you said, when you left, I'm listening. I- I have a couple of days sober now. I had more b-but I relapsed a few days ago."