Diary of the Crazy Shaniqua Bello

Log Five: WAHALA!

FIVE
WAHALA

01/01/2022

New Year's Day

9:25 am

Dear Diary

At this point, it's safe to say that the universe and probably God is deeply angry with me because what mess have I found myself in this morning?

Damn!

Today is the day—the day God finally decided to show me one tooth by giving me work after 2 years of searching—it just had to be today of all days abi?

1: I woke up late; we can blame that one on the stupid goat that didn't allow me to rest well because—let me not lie, after I dropped you down at midnight, I couldn't sleep nor think properly until 5 o'clock; which was when I finally closed my eyes to sleep hence the waking moment. No vex, I mean, who else will I pour my aggression on before? Mtchewwww

2: I got into traffic; let's blame that on the government and their constant mismanagement of federal funds that should be put in place to provide basic amenities like good roads, and the people who've been conditioned to mental instability hence the way they drive and navigate the same bad road we're all still managing which leads to unfortunate heavy and pointless traffic jams.

And finally. . .

3: I'm standing in the middle of the road, writing to distract myself from the embarrassing scene taking place in front of me and what's even paining me the most is that I can't talk because not only will it come off as highly insensitive, but the bike man will not pay any mind to me talk less of weighing sensitivity, but is it me that said he shouldn't look or watch how he was driving? Now he's hit an elderly woman with several crates of eggs—and I've given him a 1000 naira note, how will I get my 300 naira change like this?

Why can't I leave the 300 naira change and carry on with my journey?

Good question, I'll give you a good answer too, but it'll come as a question, hope you don't mind, Bebi?

Okay, question 1: what if they don't agree to give me an audience because I'm showing up stupidly late; what'll be my gain?

Question 2: even if they decide to let my lack of punctuality slide and give me an audience, won't I still go home or will I get my salary today? Or you want to act like I'm not on a budget, cos that'll be very funny judging from the fact that I've always been transparent with you about my finance...or lack of it.

What kind of thing is this like this?

Bye, Bebi
A confused and broke Shaniqua

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