SIXTY-ONE
LINGERIE
Wednesday
8:57 pm
Dear, Diary
"This...or...this?" Shantel placed two knock-offs of Victoria's Secret lingerie in front of me with a bright smile on her face.
"You have got a date?"
"No, silly!—it's for..." she faltered and gestured at the bed I was laying. I actually had to blink 3 times to make sense of her eyes gestures and when I finally did, I found myself collapsing on the bed that had taken me minutes to almost finalize. "Kilo funny?"
I couldn't hold it in and every time I tried to talk it only came out as more laughter.
"Are you not joking?" I finally breathed out with a Cheshire smile on my face which immediately began to melt when I figured from the expression on her face that she'd actually meant her words. I panicked. "Did he?... have you guys discussed this?" I shot up from the bed and this time it was her turn to laugh.
"First of all, I owe you no explanations, secondly, we're two consenting people and thirdly, he's just your boss and not your friend—except..."
"Except what?"
"You can't be having feelings for your boss of 3 days now?"
"What are you even saying, Shantel? How did we get here?"
"THIS!," she gestured at my face with her fore and middle fingers curved into a claw, "... is how we got here. Look at you! You're embodying jealousy that the word itself." She chuckled and I pathetically attempted to fix my face which made me appear even sadder.
"You're high." I hissed and smacked the cheap lingerie off the bed.
"Abegi! Don't mishandle my Victoria's Secrets! Jealousy!"
"2 for 1000 naira Victoria Secrets?—better call Vicky that her secret is out!" I attempted a joke that only made the room awkward as the both of us tried to make sense of it before she finally gave me an awkward look and waved me off.
"3 days of company work and you're already telling dead jokes—anyway, I'll go with the purple. He looks like a man who'll like purple." She shrilled in delight and I began to wonder what Elvis could ever find interesting about her.
"I take it that he doesn't know about this abi?" I finally folded my arms and pouted my lips.
"But he'll know very—,"
"What you're not going to do is embarrass me, Sister." I cut her off, grabbed the lingerie from her, crumpled it up, and tossed it out.
"What the..." She was cut off by the familiar presence of our dear Elvis.
"Is there a problem? He had the nerve to ask.
Shaniqua
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YOU ARE READING
Diary of the Crazy Shaniqua Bello
HumorShaniqua Bello is a 24 year old graduate navigating through life in the busy city of Lagos and THIS is her diary.
