Jacob

Chapter Four

Y/n's POV,

I woke up two hours later still on Jacob. He was asleep with his hand planted on my back. I smiled at his sleeping face. He's such a good friend, but the closer I'm getting to him the more I want to pull away. If I don't and I get too close will I get hurt, and will my panic attacks and anxiety attacks get worse? Or will he be the thing that makes them all go away?

I decided to wake him up and act as happy as possible. That's when a idea shot up in my head. If we go o it to dinner he'll think I'm completely fine. I got up off his chest and shook him to wake him up.

Y/n: Jacob wake up, I whispered in a raspy voice.

He moved around rubbing his eyes then looking at me.

Jacob: What's up, he said pushing me back down on the bed?

Y/n: Wanna go out to dinner to night? I feel a lot less tired, I said acting to the best of my ability?

Jacob: Mmmm, how about we go out for lunch, like in two minutes then go to the fair that just opened tonight, he said playing with my hair?

I smiled. Maybe not all guys are bad, but I still don't know if I can let him in.

Y/n: Fine, I said getting up.

Jacob: What are you doing?

Y/n: Getting up to get ready.

Jacob: Ugh, I didn't mean like right this second by two minutes I meant ten, he said getting up.

I rolled my eyes laughing. I bragged my brush brushing my hair until Jacob took the brush out of my hand. He started brushing my hair for me while looking at me threw the mirror.

Jacob: Put on your makeup he said looking down at the tub of mascara I had on the dresser.

I grabbed the bottle and did my makeup while Jacob finished on my hair. I smiled at him as he started to brush his hair. I decided to go into the bathroom and change just my shirt so I don't look like I'm wearing the same thing I was wearing yesterday.

I walked out of the bathroom to see Jacob ready holding my purse while making a tiktok. I walked over and jumped in the tiktok crossing my arms smirking up at him. The tiktok finished at this point. The music kept replaying over and over again. Jacob looked at me and picked me up kissing me. My heart fluttered at this as I smiled big when we pulled away.

Jacob laughed putting me down, as he grabbed his phone and posted the tiktok. We decided to make a few more tiktoks on my account before leaving. I pretended that I didn't care about the hate infront of Jacob but secretly I wanted to f*cking cry.

Time skips to arriving at the restaurant,

I got out of the car with cameras and fans surrounding Jacob and I. I acted as happy as possible smiling the whole time answering questions right up till Jacob and I sat down to eat. I hate being in public with the paparazzi and having fans ask for pictures along with the things everyone asks. I sat there trying to act as happy as possible, but I failed. My face started to get red and my throat started to close. Jacob looked up at me who's reading the menu. I saw the look of concern on his face.

Jacob: Are you ok Y/N/N?

Y/n: Yeah, yeah I'm fine.

Jacob: You don't look fine. Are you sure?

Y/n: I SAID IM FINE JACOB!

Jacob looked at me a little scared because he's never seen me act like this before.

Jacob: Ok I'm sorry I just wanted to make s-

Y/n: Can we just wait for the waiter to get here please, I said really p*ssed?!

Jacob: Yeah, he said in a low defeated voice.

After ten minutes of dead silence along with awkwardness, and me fighting off panic attacks left and right the waiter finally comes and takes our orders.

Waiter: Hi what will it be for you two?

Y/n: Hi, um I'll have a wrap and a lemonade please, I avoided eye contact with him still hating guys.

Waiter: Ok and for you, he turned towards Jacob?

Jacob: I'll have a come and two slices of pepperoni pizza please.

Waiter: Ok I'll be back with that as soon as I can, he said walking away.

Jacob and I sat there dead silent. I sat there thinking about staying calm, but at this point Jacob knows somethings wrong. I mean we were just making out this morning, and I was acting completely fine. I think I stepped too far. I should have known I wouldn't have been able to put up this act in such a stressful place for me. The trauma I've been put through because of my ex made all this happen. I miss the old Y/n. The happy Y/n, The not stressed out Y/n, The Y/n that could go in public, The Y/n that could live with out being traumatized by doing simple everyday things everyone does. I miss me. I miss 2019...

I snapped out of my thoughts when fans came over to me.

Fourteen year old boy: Hey how does it feel to be abused, he laughed with his other friends.

I looked at Jacob who was making a mad face furrowing his eyebrows.

Jacob: Listen man if you came over here to just be m-

Another kid cut Jacob off.

Thirteen year old kid: How does it feel to have all these issues because of this guy, he laughed filming me.

Y/n: Can you please not film me, I said in a low voice holding back a anxiety attack.

The two of them: What was that, they laughed recording me. At this point Jacob was standing up getting a waiter to kick them out.

The waiter came over with Jacob.

Waiter: I'm sorry but you kids have to leave, he said escorting them out.

Jacob sat back down and saw that I didn't look that upset; when in reality I was so upset. I wanted to f*cking scream at the top of my lungs who raised you. I didn't though I tried to act ok again.

Time skips to in the car on the way to the fair,

My mind was raising as I thought of all the hard people have been sending my way. I then realized the hate that's eating me up was never addressed. If I were to address it on live maybe, just maybe I could tell my story. Maybe I could tell the story of what happened to me and what happened with him. I can't say his name still to this day, but maybe hopefully by doing this tonight I'll get the closer I do desperately need, and deserve.

Jacob's POV,

I don't know what's going on with Y/n. She seems happy even out in public. She hates being out in public because of the questions and hate she gets by people. I could tell at lunch something was wrong, but now she's acting like she just won a Grammy. I hope she's ok. Even though she wants space I'm not gonna give it to her, because if I do it might make things worse. Tonight I'm gonna try and see what's wrong. I don't know what it's gonna take, but I have to figure it out. I have to figure her out.