Jacob

Chapter Five

Times skips to arriving at the fair

Y/n's POV,

We got out of the car and bought tickets to get in. I still acted like everything was ok. If I'm going to be honest I'm afraid to let him in all the way. Yeah, I know call me crazy because we made out this morning, but I'm scared of getting hurt even more then I am now. I don't want to let someone in and get hurt, because it could make my current mental state worse. I looked around at all the lights blinking and changing on the different rides. I always get distracted at places like this. I counted the colors as we walked around things still being tense and awkward. They started to slowly ease up though, and it made me more relaxed in this crowed place.

Jacob: Wanna go on some rides, he looked down at me as I counted the colors?

Y/n: Yeah sure, I said still counting.

As we walked to a ride of Jacob's choice which meant it was scary I counted over eighty colors. I was happy I came to the fair because the colors, counting, and rides are distracting me from the anxiety and stress I'm under on a day basis.

Jacob: Y/n? Y/n? Hello?

Y/n: Yeah?

Jacob: Haha, haha!

Y/n: What?

Jacob: Nothing, nothing.

Jacob's POV,

I was trying to act like I couldn't tell anything was bothering Y/n, even though I knew everything was.

Later

Y/n's POV,

Jacob grabbed my hand avoiding the crowd of people and we went online for the fairs wheel. We stood in line for ten minutes before finally getting on the ride. The guy closed the cart and we sat close to each other. I always hated fairs wheels because of how high and shaky the carts are. The cart started moving and I gasped grabbing onto Jacob's arm. He put his hand on mine.

Jacob: It's ok Y/n you'll be fine, he said looking at me as we hit the top of the fairs wheel.

I knew I wasn't ok though, and something told me something bad was gonna happen at the top. I tried to ignore how I was feeling and act ok, but scared of the ride and how high we were. All of a sudden we stopped. Dead at the top. I got so scared and he could tell. He put his arm around me and started to talk as we sat up there.

Jacob: Y/n, I don't understand.

Y/n: Understand what, I said scared he saw through me; scared he knew everything.

Jacob: I don't understand why you won't tell me the whole truth. You won't let me in. You always do, but now your not. Your trying to act ok when your completely heart broken. Your trying to act like your not sad and exhausted. You are though and I want you to be honest with me.

My heart was raising out of my chest as I got even more upset. I turned to the side and took down at how high it was. I didn't care though in that moment though. I couldn't stand the fact that he wanted to know. I know I'm being dramatic, but letting someone in like this some one- someone I love to death terrifies me.

Jacob: Y/n talk to me! Y/n, he said grabbing my arm trying to make me look at him.

Y/n: What Jacob? You want me to tell you that I love you? You want me to tell you that I'm constantly crying? You want me to tell you that I'm trying to act ok? You want me to tell you that I love you, and I'm afraid to let you in, because I'm scared that I could get hurt and have more mental health problems then I do now?

I stopped yelling and looked at Jacob's face. I finally got all the rage out I was feeling. Apart of me wanted him to say something, to comfort me in some way. But he didn't. He just looked at me blank. I turned back to the side. I could tell he was upset and shocked at the same time.