It didn't happen right away, but you love Hoseok with all your heart. Your first thought in the morning and the only thing on your mind before you sleep, and you'd do anything to keep it that way.
Even if it hurts.
"What'd she say?" Namjoon doesn't answer, just stares at the phone in his hand. His mind replaying this conversation and that conversation, and all the other conversations before searching for where things didn't quite add up.
Who were you so afraid of that you felt like you needed to lie for them to cover up your friend's murder?
"Joon? Is she at least safe? Just tell me she's safe."
His words are dry, voice hoarse and scratchy, and he really should be sleeping but he can't. Not if you're not there with him in bed. It's dramatic, he's dramatic, he knows but he doesn't care.
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Things have been spiraling out of control and he'd just made it worse.
"We should call Jimin, maybe he'll talk her into coming back home?"
He doesn't feel as shitty as he did right after you'd walked out the door thanks to a bottle and a half of wine.
Namjoon finally looks at him, a weird look on his face and for a second his heart drops, weighed down by fear before he tells him that you're safe and sleeping at a hotel for the night.
"Fuck, I didn't mean to upset her intentionally, you know? I figured it was just hair. What if she leaves me Joon? I've never seen her so pissed off."
Namjoon scoffed then, lip pulling back in a frown as he crossed his arms and shook his head. "It's just hair. Gosh, you guys are so dramatic. Wendy was nice...well, more than nice, but if this is what I have to look forward to... I think I'll stick to the single life for a little longer." He jokes, trying to wipe that sad frown off your boyfriend's face.
"What? What'd she say?" Hoseok tries again, ignoring the jab completely. Mind spinning with endless possibilities, none of them anything good. It's only for a split second his subconscious tells him this isn't normal but he doesn't think about it too much.
To be so fidgety and anxious like this isn't healthy but he glosses over the feeling quickly, he's more worried about you and how you're doing. You, always you first. You needed him like he needed you, the shadow to his sun.
His best friend sighs and he doesn't like it at all. It's usually never good things that follow Namjoon's sighs. "Did she...ever talk to you about that night...the night Yoongi died?" Hesitantly, he looks over at Hoseok, gauging his reaction and how this conversation might play out.
Hoseok doesn't respond automatically and Namjoon respects it. Waiting patiently while he gets his thoughts together. He should probably call Jimin and tell him to come back. He'd gone out not long after you, worried about you walking around so late at night and in the cold.
You probably didn't want to see Hobi, and Namjoon was always kind of awkward with these things. At least he could give some shitty comfort to Hoseok.
"We don't–I don't really like to think about it so Y/N doesn't bring it up. I just..." His hands bawl tightly into fists, eyes on the patterns in the wood floors, "I feel so guilty, Joon. I was drunk off my fucking ass and Yoongi was–he died...he died because of me."
