We and Us

Chapter 15

I'm standing in front of the door. Contemplating on whether I should open it or not. Opening it means I'm going to his room. If I don't, then it means he's not gonna know my answer. The alarm ring. 1 am. It's time. It's better to do it tonight than tomorrow, cause it'll be chaos as we're gonna catch the stalker. I take a very deep breath. My stomach starts to feel anxious.

I walk my way to his room. One knock. The door is unlocked.
"I'm here, what do you wanna know?" I said immediately while closing the door behind me. His room is dim and coloured light blue with the LED lights. He tapped the empty seat in front of him, his sitting on the bed and there's a gaming chair next to it.
I took the seat.

"I know you don't see me the way I see you. But that still doesn't change what I'm feeling. Will you give me a chance to prove it?"  he take one of my hand and holds it close to his chest.

"Why me? I'm not pretty or skinny like others. I'm chubby and look at me, I'm a mess." I put his hand off of me, and cups my cheeks to show my fat.

"You're gorgeous, and why would you say you're fat when there's only bones in you. There's a condition named body dysmorphic disorder, BDD, it's only you who think you're fat and not pretty when in reality, you're so very gorgeous. Trust me." he put a candy in my hand.

"Do you only like me for being skinny and pretty?" I asked. It hurts a little when I ask him that, but I want the truth. He shake his head.

"No, I like you because you made me more alive, I spend most my time in this room alone. When I get to see you even though you never make your eye up to where I stand, I felt something tingling in my stomach. Those days when you couldn't even leave your bed, dad would asked us to visit you. You always smile even for no reason. I like you for being strong, I want you to notice me. I don't know how to put it, there's warm feeling whenever I see you. I could only feel this with you." he holds his hand to his chest before continuing his words.
" Hey why are you crying? I won't force you to accept my feeling. Don't feel burdened by it, I'm sorry.." he wipe the tears that I didn't even know fall to my face.

"I'm not sad.. I'm happy, but confused. How long have you know that you like me?" I hold his hand that's cupping both my cheeks. He smiles.

"Our parents have known each other for more than 10 years. And when we had our first dinner I was 15, you were 13. Somewhere along the years, I want to be the one who take care of you, I wanna know everything about you and why you look so sick. But I was a child back then, I would hide my feelings. One day, I gathered up my courage to tell you, when I got to the hospital, you weren't there. " he paused for a long time. His eye seems like glasses. Tears forming in. He seems serious about me.

" I really thought something bad happened when you weren't there. It's when you're 15, that you got discharged. Dad invited us to your house and told us to wear black. Till I saw you sitting in your swing with heavy blankets on, with your little doll, I was gonna talk to you but your mom said listening to people make you stuffy or nauseated. Dark blue became my favourite colour." he kisses my hand, looking down to cover his tears.

"Why are you crying?" I asked.

"Because there's always something that harms you whenever I see you. And you forgot who I was when that guy chased you. Tomorrow, I'll put you in danger, with the guy who hurts you."  he shake his head.

"I noticed you."

"What?" he lift his head up.

"When this happened, I know who you were, you asked for my key to drive my car home but I couldn't think clearly then. I noticed that you're Alex, but I couldn't talk much with the shock and concussion." I wipe his wet cheek. "Thank you for seeing me that way, for liking me when I couldn't like myself. I know I'm ugly when I cry and I tend to do that a lot when I'm alone and sometimes in public."
Our fingers are tangled together.

"How many times do I have to tell you, even when you crying you're beautiful too. What's going on in that beautiful mind?"
He looked at me, quite concerned.

"I'm in my own magical mystery ride." I smiled.

"Then you have to see. Cause I'm here to show you how I see you. Now, will you give me a chance to prove my love?"
He confessed again. "I promise I won't force you to like me back."

"I grew up away from people, and when I finally got better, I join acting. Don't know who or what I truly like. There's so much I didn't know." I stood up and sit next to him on the bed. I rest my head on his shoulder.

"I'll show you everything you want. Take you everywhere you want to see. After all, I drive safer and better than Steve or Benji." he laughed. I nodded.

"What do you want to know now?" I lift my head up and look straight into his eye.

"A chance to prove that I'm worthy of your love."

"I don't need the paintbook, the dolls or the dresses. Just tell me why you left your picture and gone." I asked. Taking out my phone and showing a photo in my gallery. It's a photo of him carrying a bouquet of flowers, standing next to my empty hospital bed. Someone took this photo using my phone.
" I've known that you always visited me in secret. "

"What's more to feel than regretting one own brother getting closer with the girl who holds one heart." he said.

"Benji wasn't close like that to me. He's my close friend. Are you jealous of our friendship?"  I poke his cheek.

"Do you like him that way?"

"I actually don't see him that way."

"Do I have the chance?"

"Oui. "  I nodded and smile to him. His face is getting red, his eyes are glowing like the moon light.

"Thank you, I'm not gonna let you down." he kisses my hand. The excitement still in his eyes. The smile on his face could reach his ears.

"But. You can give up whenever you want to. I'm difficult to handle." I give him a slight opportunity to let go of his feeling.

"Never." he stood up and raise me standing on my feet.
"Give me a week, then you can decide if you want to throw me or keep me."  he smiled.

"Goodnight, I'm gonna need you tomorrow." I gave him a flying kiss. He is smirking. I walk over to the door and reach to open it.

"Goodnight, mon bel ange. " he smiled and holds the door. I walk back to my room and close the door. TRANSLATION : My beautiful angel.

With this amazing feeling, I'm sure no nightmares can disturb me tonight. I lay on the bed and close my eye.