When Grey Met Colors - Cordelia Goode

☆ Part 2 〜 Enough is enough ☆

    One day, I started to ask my mother some questions about Esther. Like if she would come visit us soon or if we'd go see her where she lived. All she did was to change the subject. She tried to avoid it. She didn't want to talk about it. Every single time I said my sister's name, my mom tensed, she tried to avoid my eyes.

    I wasn't stupid, maybe out of the ordinary, but not stupid. There was something she didn't want me to know. And all the energy my mom put into avoiding the subject of my older sister made me go crazy. I wanted to know what was all behind this secretiveness, I needed to know in fact.

    I couldn't support it anymore, the feeling of being the laughing stock. My mother and my sister were laughing right in my face and I couldn't know the reason why, they wouldn't tell me.

    But one day, enough was enough. After eight months of my questions being dodged, I snapped. It didn't happen the way I wanted though. It only showed me that I was much more an outcast than I thought. And it also scared the shit out of my mom.

    It was late, like really late. My mom was going to sleep, but before she climbed up the stairs, I asked her if we could talk. With what I could see, I noticed she looked at me weirdly. I didn't know if she knew what I wanted to talk about or if she just found me weird, abnormal.

    My mom sat next to me on the couch, smiling at me, again that's what I think, it's difficult to know when your vision's blurry and grey. Anyway, she isn't an actor and thank god she's not one, cause she'd be shitty at her job. No but seriously, she was so fake with me and she didn't even tried to hide it.

    But when I said 'Esther', oh I can tell you that her smile, she lost it really quickly. She was annoyed by me always asking the same questions and so was I. If she only gave me an answer, everything would've been easier.

    My mom got up, not even bothering to answer me, so I grabbed her wrist strongly out of reflex. I was so angry, I felt a hot flame grow bigger in my stomach, burning everything inside of me. My ribs, my lungs, my heart. This flame of rage was the only thing that was controlling me now.

    I asked another time what was going on with Esther and like always, my mom kept her mouth shut. She was only staring at me, defying me. I asked one last time, pausing in between every word, using a very commanding tone. I thought it would shake her up. It didn't. With a swing of the hand, she freed herself from my grip. Oh, I can tell you that it only increased my rage.

    My mom turned her back on me. What she shouldn't have. I felt hot, like if I was stuck in a sauna. My breathing raced, my ears were spitting out steam, my fists clenched. Before my mom disappeared from my sight, I yelled at her. My words were hurtful, but they were speaking the truth. "I fucking hate you!" was what I told her.

    My mom turned around and walked up to me, placing her hands softly on both of my arms. But it was too late for apologies. She had been pissing me off for the last months, why would I forget about all the hurt her silence caused me?

    I pushed her hands away. My mom tried to say something, but I immediately interrupted her, the rage only growing bigger and stronger inside my chest.

"Look Y/n-"

"No! You don't get to tell me that you and Esther are hiding shit from me! I wanna know what is fucking happening with my sister! Don't you think I should know the truth?!" The rage was so powerful it made me talk with my hands, making me gesticulate a lot. My hands were flying around in every direction to express how tired and annoyed I was.

"There is nothing you need to know. I can't tell you-"

"But why!?!"

    That's when I snapped. My hands were directly pointing the pillows on the couch and guess what? It got on fire! Out of nowhere. My mom jumped two meters high when the orange-reddish light sprung from the pillows. She immediately rushed to the couch and she pushed the pillows on the ground, the burning side meeting with the parquet.

    My mom stepped on them a couple of times and the fire finally died. And so did my rage. I had found peace again with myself, but this event wasn't the real storm. My mom's anger was. And it was a thing I couldn't escape from.

    When she made sure nothing more was burning, my mom slowly turned in my direction, the light around her being an intense red. I had never seen an aura so glowing, this must meant that my mom was really enraged.

    She walked with long strides to me before she slapped my face with such a force. I didn't see it coming. Neither did I see her regretting her action coming. Everything happened so fast. The slap, the apology, the tears. I felt like my mom was torn apart between two contradictory sentiments and that she was trying to find the best way to react.

    After a few seconds of watching her mood change, my mom finally got a hold on herself. She was standing straight up in front of me, her lips clamped together, her aura getting a darker shade of red. I started to panic inside. My mom just stood there, she was intimidating me, I had no idea what was going to happen.

    Was she mad? Was she scared? But first, how did the pillows get on fire?? That's the weirdest thing that ever happened, I actually feel like I did this, I set the pillows on fire.

    My mom sighed and pointed the top of the stairs before she whispered 'Go pack your things and leave. I don't want to deal with a troubled daughter.' I couldn't believe what I heard. I couldn't get my feet to move, my mother's words replaying over and over again in my head.

    Am I such a burden for her? Has she felt that way about me since I'm born? I felt my cheeks getting soaked slowly still not able to move a limb. That hurt so much!

    Not seeing me moving, my mom leaned in a little, her face at a few inches away from mine. She was so close that I could feel the anger radiating from her body.

"Haven't you heard a word I said? Go pack your things and leave! I'm warning you, get out of my sight now before I change my mind and kick you out of here without anything..." My mom added before she collapsed on the couch and took her face in her hand, letting out a big sigh.

    Suddenly, I got the use of my legs back and I hurried upstairs, now more tears running down my cheeks. Once in my bedroom, I closed the door and leaned back on it, sliding down to hug my knees against my chest.

    Why does it have to hurt so bad? Why can't I be a normal 21 year old woman?

    I couldn't stop the tears from leaving my eyes because of the pain I was in. My whole body was trembling from the hurt of my mom's words and my sight only got darker. I finally decided that I would pack my things, so I took my sport bag out of my closet and I threw everything I thought useful in it.

    With my extremely dark and blurry sight, I couldn't quite know what I was putting in my bag, I just knew I had to be out of this place in the next minutes. It was hard at that moment. Everything was spinning in my head, I just needed it to be quiet. I wanted to be able to think, to process all that had happened.

    So when my bag was full, I walked down the stairs and stopped at the bottom of it, my mom at my right, looking at me with her arms crossed over her chest. I looked at her with the most pleading face I could, but it didn't seem to shake her.

"Please..." I whispered trying one last time to change her mind so that she could let me stay here. But she shook her head and looked down.

"Now..." My mom whispered back, setting her eyes on the front door that was at her right.

    And so I left. Without giving a look over my shoulder.

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Chapter two everyone! Hope you liked it! And don't worry, Cordelia's coming, she'll make her appearance in the next chapter ;)
M <3