When Grey Met Colors - Cordelia Goode

☆ Part 18 〜 The overflow ☆

    The next morning, I get up from my thirty minutes nap by someone banging on my door, except it's not the one connected to the hallway, but the one connected to the bathroom I share with Maddison. Against my will, I get up and decide to open the door only to be met with a pretty pissed looking Maddison — but let's be honest, when doesn't she look pissed?

As soon as Maddison sees me, her eyes open wide and she has a movement of retreat. "Wow, you look awful," is what she says and I raise my eyebrows, surprised that she dared to say that — but then again, that's totally a thing Maddison would do. Not happy that she woke me up, I cross my arms over my chest and I sigh.

"What do you want, Maddison?" I ask, my voice barely audible. The one concerned rolls her eyes before she points the bandage packet I left on the counter and for a moment, I panic a little scared that Maddison might have done one plus one. But by her pissed face, I wouldn't be too certain. "I don't know if you're aware, but we share a bathroom, so I'd appreciate it if you could clean yourself."

"Seriously, you woke me up for that?" I ask annoyed and before Maddison has the time to answer, I take the bandage packet and put it inside the pharmacy. "There, happy?" And I swing my door close, crawling back into bed.

    But I can't fall back asleep because my phone keeps receiving notifications. At first, I thought the person would stop eventually, but they even started to call me. Awesome... I take my phone from my night table only to see that the person harassing me is none other than my mother. I can't deal with this right now. I completely close my phone and I finally get the chance to fall asleep.

˚✧₊⁺˳✧༚

Bang bang bang

No, not again...

"Kory, it's Cordelia. Please, will you open the door? There's something really important that I have to tell you. Kory...?" Cordelia keeps banging on my door and even if at first I put my pillow over my face, I grunt and get up to open to her. Why can't people leave me the fuck alone?!

"Yes?" I say exasperated, but then I realize who is in front of me. Why did I open the door? I don't want her to see me right now, not when I'm looking like that... Why, why, why?! Probably hearing everything I think and also seeing my panicked expression, Delia takes me by the shoulders and she shushes me.

"Kory, calm down, it's just me, you're okay." Her voice is filled with sadness and my heart breaks to hear that. No, no, no, she can't see me like that, I'm fucking disappointing her... "No, Kory, you could never disappoint me, stop thinking that."

    Even with everything Cordelia says to me, my thoughts become louder and louder and I can't make them shut up, they won't! And I feel so bad for Cordelia, she has to listen to them and she has to see me all fucking sad and disgusting.

The overwhelming feeling inside of me being too much, I get out of Cordelia's embrace and I try to close my bedroom door in front of her, mumbling things to myself. I notice that Zoe and Queenie gathered close to my room, looking inside to see what is happening with me. Cordelia succeeds to enter and she closes the door behind her as I turn my back on her, taking my head in both hands.

It's too much, my thoughts are too much and now Cordelia is there and I can't break down, not without her seeing me. But I don't wanna break down, I'm supposed to be strong and I especially don't want her to see me like that...

Without even hearing her approach, my girlfriend places her hands on my shoulders, my back touching her body and I end up breaking down, in front of Delia.

    I cry my eyes out, turning on myself to hold on to Cordelia. She just holds my head and my shoulders solidly, rubbing my back with on of her hands as the other strokes my air and she's just there, helping me getting everything out. Everything I kept hidden inside for the last two weeks is now pouring out of my body as my cheeks get all soaked by salty tears and I have difficulty to breath.