When Grey Met Colors - Cordelia Goode

☆ Part 11 〜 The consequences ☆

    One step. That's all I have to do to be on my mother's property. But for some reason, this one step is more difficult to take than I thought it would. I build up my courage and finally put a foot on the lawn, advancing slowly but surely. I don't know what I'll tell her, how she'll react when she'll see me nor how I'll react to all of this.

    I feel my heart thumping against my chest, my breathing quickening. Oh, how I wish Cordelia was with me right now assuring me that I can do it. But she's at the Academy curled up in her husband's arms. The one she loves. Fuck, now I'm even more stressed out! How will I react when I'll see Cordelia again? How will she? Okay Kory, focus on one thing at a time please.

    For a reason I don't know, my eyes get wet and I can't help but let some tears flow on my cheeks. What's happening to me, I have to get a hold on myself! I succeed to calm my breathing down, but I can't stop myself from crying of anger, both because of my mother and Cordelia.

    When I feel like I'm mentally ready for what's going to happen, I knock on the wooden door of my mother's house waiting for her to appear in front of me. The cascade of tears pouring out of my eyes doesn't allow me to see clearly and added to my grey sight, I can tell you that only the shapes of everything are visible.

    Finally, the front door opens, revealing the woman I've called my "mother" my entire life.

"Kory? What are you doin-"

"Why didn't you tell me?" I bark before she has the time to finish her question, my muscles tensing.

"Tell you what sweetheart?" Leann asks clueless of the reason for my angry attitude.

"Oh, cut the shit, will you? I know what you did to me, to Esther. So, why did you never tell me that you weren't my mom? Huh?!" I snap, her I-don't-know-why-you're-mad face expression changing to a fuck-I'm-screwed one. Her hand holding the door drops to collapse on her thigh and I try to make her look at me, but her eyes are lost in the distance. With a shaky and cracking voice, I add "What do you have to say about that, 'mom'?"

"Come inside." It is said so calmly that I ask myself if Leann understood what I told her.

"No." I say curtly, shooting daggers with my eyes. "I won't come inside your house so you can coax me with cookies and tea and your heartwarming tone. I want you to tell me here and now why you pretended to be my mom." I try to keep my face impassive and it seems to work, my mother's innocent expression changing for a bored one.

"What I do and why I do it is none of your business. Anyway, what would it give you, you already know the truth." The way she pronounces her words pinches my heart, no remorse coming from her. Like she doesn't care that what she did affected me.

"I trusted you. You were my model in life and you don't even care to give me the reason to why you lied to me my whole life?"

"I was your model? Oh stop, you're gonna make me cry. It was always your sister that you looked up for." Leann crosses her arms over her chest, daring me with her gaze.

"My mother, you mean. My real one, not an impostor that pretended to be someone she's not." I growl through gritted teeth, my jaw hurting from how tense it is. Leann squints her eyes, her lips disappearing into a thin, pink line. "Me who thought I had a perfect family apart from an absent, drunk father..."

"I gave you everything, Kory! Everything you wanted, I gave and you aren't even grateful for everything I did for you!"

"You lied to me! And you forced dad and Esther to do the same when they knew that it was fucked up! You took something from me that can never be replaced and it doesn't look like it's bothering you in the slightest! And you dare to call yourself a good mother?!"