Patient

26

Ryanne

I decide to return the favor and loosen up some of the knots on his back in a comfortable silence. I chuckle every now and then when I can't loosen one up. Laying back on the edge of the tub he lays his head lazily on the valley between my breasts.

"Hmmm...you're very comfortable."

"Ditto."

There has been something bugging me for a long time now that I have been wanting to ask him. "What made you want to lie on alcohol and drugs to get by? Just the fact your mother was an alcoholic too?"

His body immediately tenses making the work I'd just done on his back futile. "That and a combination of other things."

"You don't like talking about that do you?"

"Who likes talking about their problems? Talking about them make them real, make the person seem actually human."

The point he was making was completely valid but it struck me as odd that I had spilled my guts out and I am craving more knowledge of his life, of his past. He has said a million times directly and indirectly that his life hasn't been a pleasant want and the more I say the less he says.

He stands up, holding his hand out for me. Standing as graceful as possible with my relaxed limbs, I step out of the tub with his help. He wraps a towel a round me, and one around his half.

In my bedroom, I give him my back as I try to rid myself of my still wet undergarments and slip dry ones on. Feeling his eyes on my back, I try not to mind the fact that I can here the rustle of clothes as he puts them on plus the idea of him going commando.

Once I have my underwear on, I snatch some cutoffs and a Kings of Leon t-shirt. "You really like band shirts."

With a silly grin of my face I agree. His phone rings, because of the greeting, I imagine it's one of the boys.

"But why if they always take it?...I know they have no needs but Fuck...Yes, they are still returning them...No, I didn't send one this weekend...Yes...Yes..." His mood has changed completely, darkened. He sighs and says he'll swing by soon.

True to his word, he takes hold of his things and quickly says goodbye. I am there, sitting in the middle of the bed with a thousand feelings swirling inside me, a million thoughts making me go insane with curiosity and not one single thing that hasn't left that can clarify it all.

Who is they? What are they returning? I must sound like a crazy girlfriend which I am not, but his face, the way it darkened just after a few words lets me know whatever it is is extremely important...to him at least. Since the day I met him, I have been able to read him just as he has able to read me, but our main difference is he can read all the words inside my chapter while I can barely read the chapter names.

I try to distract myself with my assignments and other duties. I clean the place, more sullen than normal, then clean it again just in case. Exhausted and rather early, I fall into bed listening to Saving Abel's Addicted.

~ • ~

Yesterday, I had woken up with renewed energy, fresh and happy today it is the polar opposite. I am conflicted, restless, and more curious than ever. Patience is a virtue I had always possessed but apparently where Kellan is concerned, patience gets on it's feet flees like a gazelle.

My morning classes are a pain in the ass, my mid-day shift an annoying task, and my afternoon classes a kick in the camel toe. I'm annoyed and on edge and just want to get this day over with. Everyone around me knows I am not being myself and they just ignore the fact that I am all in a pissy-mood.