Patient

14

Ryanne

As I open my apartment I feel like I've swallowed a million heartbeats. His words dance and tease my ears. I've never made a promise I do 't intent to fulfill. I close my eyes relishing what the promise really entitles.

Grabbing a gatorade from the fridge, I move to my desk placing three slices of pizza in a napkin so I can eat while I do my homework. Just one more reason why I would prefer being an animal so I could hideout and hibernate.

Strangely, I'm working in silence. No music, no TV playing and it feels weird. I'm thinking, more than usual of course. I'm thinking about tomorrow and what he will think when I appear at his office. I decide to play some music to clear my mind As I pick up my phone to change the song, I receive a text. The fuck?

Don't even think about changing it. I love that song.

Me: What the hell? Are you like psychic or something.

No, I'm a psychologist. ;) And a slash fan.

I sigh. Do I tell him before hand? Yes! I know what I'll do.

Me: What would you do Mr. Psychologist if I'd become your Patient?

His response normally take seconds this one though made every single minute endless.

If you'd become my patient, that'd be hard. They say when you know personally the person treating you, you take the chance of getting judged and maybe even falling estranged with the person. But, with you it would be different still somewhat difficult but possible. I've felt how with you so many things I've known my whole life are different, better. So if you'd become my patient, I'd try my damnedest to fix you, make you feel whole, happy again even if it takes a million sunsets.

Reading the message a million times wouldn't be enough.

Have I scared you away?

I snap out of my stupor and answer him.

Me: No, I'm here.

What are you doing?

Me: Currently, eating and doing my Calculus homework.

I hate number, but I'd love to be your calculus homework.

Me: The fuck? Why would you like to be my calculus homework?

Because I'd be hard, and would be doing me on your desk.

I laugh so hard I think he might be able to hear it, music pounding and all.

Me: Lmao. Awesome pick up lines.

I know. ;)

Me: What are you doing?

Nothing fun, except bothering you.

Me: You're not bothering me.

That's what you want to tell your mind but I actually am considering I am distracting you from doing your beloved homework.

Me: Okay Doctor, enough for the night.

Have a nice night. Dream of Calculus.

Me: Sure.

All worries about tomorrow have gone with the wind since apparently the universe heard his prayers and I dreamt about hard calculus homework getting done on my desk.

~ • ~

I'm scared to say the least. I've avoided all my friends contact today and even Sylvain's eyes today. I don't know what to expect and as I am finishing my shift at the coffee shop I know my time is over and I have to do this.

I have to get better and be strong not just for me but for my mom, for Lucky. Taking the deepest of breaths before stalking to his office. As I approach the main desk at the counseling and psychology facility of the university I'm shaking and stuttering.

"I'm here to...I mean...I have an...err...appointment."

The uninterested blonde at the desk just chews like a cow and looks at the screen in front of her. "Name?" she asks.

"Ryanne. Ryanne Raegan." I stutter.

Just as I've finished saying my name, I hear someone call said name. I turn around following a voice I know very well.

"Kellan."

"What are you doing here?" He says now standing in front of me, a cup of coffee in his hand.

"I...It's just that..."

I am cut off by the blonde.

"Dr. Trenton, your new patient."

His eyes go wide and I have no idea what to think. He says he doesn't make promises he doesn't intend to fulfill and the text he sent me yesterday wasn't a promise but will he still intend to fulfill it?