Not Quite as Planned

I'm Sorry, I'll Do Better

During my next class I spent the majority of my time thinking about what Hizashi said and trying to figure out how to talk to Hitoshi. I wanted to actually use Hizashi's advice and tell Hitoshi everything but I'm honestly too scared. I have no idea how the hell I was able to dump everything on Hizashi like that and it's still baffling me an hour later.
After an hour and a half of thinking and zero progress I decided that my best bet would be to talk to Eijiro, especially seeing as I agreed to meet him at some restraunt for lunch today. He insisted that it would make me feel better since I've been in such a shitty mood lately. It's not like I have anything better to do so I decided to humor him a little bit, see if it'll actually help or not.
   As soon as my class let out I made my way to where Eijiro said he was waiting. It was a 10 minute walk from campus so it didn't take me all that long to get there. When I walked in I instantly noticed Eijiro sitting at a table. I went over and sat down across from him, his smile growing when he noticed me, "Hey Bakubro, good to see you made it."
   I rolled my eyes, "I've yet to see how this is going to make me feel better." I replied, crossing my arms.
   Eijiro laughed, "Just wait man, when you try the food you'll understand. This shit's to die for, I promise."
"It's a pizza place Eijiro, I don't know how to die for it can actually be." I told him, doubt written all over my face.
   "Oh Mr. Doubtful, soon you'll see just how wrong you are." Eijiro said with a smirk as a waitress came and sat a tray if pizza in front of us. I eyed Eijiro who was just looking at me with hopeful eyes. "Get ready to be amazed my friend."
I sighed but grabbed a slice, eyeing Eijiro before taking a bite. I felt my eyes widen a little bit as the flavor filled my mouth. "See? It's good, right?" Eijiro asked, a knowing smile spread across his face.
I swallowed then sat the slice down on my plate, "It's alright I guess." I replied, putting my elbow on the table and resting my head on my hand.
   "Liar, I saw the look you had on your face!"
   "Shut it idiot." I sighed, a small smile on my face.
After we finished eating and were walking back to campus I turned to Eijiro, a serious expression on my face, "Hey, Ei? Can I ask for your advice on something?"
"Of course, what's going on Bakubro?"
   "I uh- I want to talk to Hitoshi about shit but I'm scared. I don't like talking about my feelings and stuff but I talked to his dad and he gave me all this advice and I don't want it to go to waste. I just, don't know what I should do." I explained.
Eijiro put a hand on my shoulder, "I think you should just tell him Kat. I know that may sound like shitty advice but it's Hitoshi, you know? After class invite him over, sit him down, and just tell him what's on your mind. He's texted me about you a few times, he's worried, I know he'd be more than happy to listen to what you have to say. Just do it at your own pace, you know?"
   "Yeah, I think I can manage that. Thanks Shitty Hair." I replied.
   Eijiro laughed, "Our hair's pretty similar you know." I softly punched Eijiro's arm and said goodbye to him, walking into my psychology class' building.
When I walked into the classroom I noticed Hitoshi already sitting in his seat. I was starting my way back but got called over by Professor Aizawa. He walked me out into the hallway then faced me. "Hizashi told me what happened earlier, I just want to make sure you're holding up ok."
I nodded, "I'm alright, I'm going to try to talk to Hitoshi after class today." I replied. Professor Aizawa simply nodded then walked me back into the classroom. I walked right to my seat, turning around and facing Hitoshi, "Hey, can you come with me to my dorm after class? I need to talk to you."
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   After class Hitoshi and I headed off to my dorm together. The entire walk there was completely silent, neither of us speaking a single word. I walked in front of Hitoshi the entire time, only looking behind me sometimes to make sure he was still following me. The second we got back to my dorm I grabbed onto Hitoshi's wrist and dragged him to my room, not wanting Eijiro to try and start a conversation with us.
   When we got to my room I closed the door behind us and locked it. I walked over at sat down on my bed, Hitoshi standing by the door. "So, what did you want to talk about?" Hitoshi asked, his arms crossed.
"Sit next to me, please?" I asked, slightly scared. Hitoshi nodded and walked over, taking the spot next to me. I took his hand in mine then started, telling him everything I had talked to his dad about earlier. I told him about every fear I had and every single thing that I had let bubble up these past few weeks.
The whole time Hitoshi never let go of my hand and looked at me with understanding and kind eyes. He made it that much easier to talk to him about this. When I finished I looked at him, searching for any hint of judgement. When I saw none I looked down at the ground, "I-I'm sorry for hiding so much from you and dealing with this on my own. I'll be better, I promise."
   Hitoshi pulled me into a hug at that, "Kat, you're already doing perfect. You're being so careful and doing everything you can do make sure everything goes like it should. You don't have to change a thing, you're doing amazing and I'm so proud of you and how strong you've been."
I couldn't hold back my tears anymore, I gripped onto his shirt and dug my face into his chest, letting everything out. Through the entirety of my crying Hitoshi just held me close, rubbing my back and ensuring me that I'm doing a good job. It may not seem like a lot but it made my world feel complete and it meant so much to me. The smallest of things like this make me feel important to him. It makes me feel as if everyrhing going to be alright.