Not Quite as Planned

Dissolved Panic

   I got released from the hospital 3 weeks ago. Saeko did not get released with me. It physically pained me that she was at the stupid hospital and not here with me. I know that it's so that she actually survives and all but it still fucking hurt. For those past 3 weeks Hitoshi and I have been going to the hospital every single fucking day, hoping that we'd finally be able to bring Saeko home with us. We weren't all that in luck.
   Hitoshi and I would wait in the waiting area as long as we were allowed just in case there were any updates at all. Today was no different. We had already been at the hospital for 3 hours and haven't heard shit. I never thought that I could be as stressed as I've been. I would give anything to be able to bring her home with us and keep her safe ourselves, it's just shitty that it's not possible right now.
Time passed slowly as Hitoshi and I continued to sit there, just waiting for something to happen. When there was about an hour left of visiting hours left a doctor approached us, hope filling my body. "Are you the parents of Shinso Saeko?"
"Y-Yeah, we are. Is she ok?" I was quick to ask as I grabbed onto Hitoshi's hand.
The doctor smiled at me, "She's fine, don't worry. I was going to call but was told you've been waiting out here everyday so I figured you'd still be here. I wanted to inform you that Saeko is finally where she should be at that she'll be able to go home with you tomorrow."
   "You're sure? Everything's good?" Hitoshi asked.
   The doctor laughed, "Yes, everything's good. If you come by around 3pm tomorrow she'll be able to go home then. Alright?"
   "Yeah, alright, thank you." I replied, holding back tears. The doctor nodded and then walked away.
   The second she did I clung onto Hitoshi and let my tears fall. I could feel a couple of tears falling down Hitoshi's face aswell, he was probably feeling just as relieved as I was.
When we calmed down enough Hitoshi and I left the hospital, wanting to go back home and update my parents. The second we walked through the door my mom ran up like she usually did, "Anything new?" She asked.
I smiled and nodded, "They said that we can go get her tomorrow, she'll be able to come home then."
My mom's face broke into a smile as she pulled Hitoshi and I into a tight hug. "That's such a relief. I'm sure you two are ecstatic."
"Definetly, how could we not be? Our daughter's finally coming home."
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   The next day Hitoshi and I showed up at the hospital 30 minutes early, just wanting to be able to go home with our daughter already. About 20 minutes after we arrived the same doctor from yesterday came over to us, taking us back to where they were keeping Saeko. She explained a few things that we should look out for and that if anything were to happen we'd need to bring her back in.
   One she had explained everything to us she went into the room and brought Saeko out, handing her to me instantly. The second Saeko was in my arms I felt my heart melt, my brain in disbelief that I finally have my daughter with me. "Congratulations, I hope everything works out." The doctor said before leaving.
   Hitoshi and I headed out to the car after she was gone, me doing everything I could not to ball my fucking eyes out. I put Saeko in her car seat and then sat in the back with her, not wanting to be apart from her a second longer. For the entire car ride back I was just staring at Saeko, letting her hold onto my finger which she hasn't let go of since I put her in the car seat.
   When we got back to my parents' house my mom was waiting outside, rushing over when she saw Toshi's car pull into the driveway. "Where's my granddaughter? I want to see her." My mom said the second my door was opened. I walked to the other side of the car and took Saeko out of the car seat, carefully handing her to my mom. "She's so beautiful, who ever would've thought you could make something so perfect?"
   I sighed, "Thanks mom, means a lot." I replied, crossing my arms. Hitoshi laughed and threw an arm around my shoulders, pulling me in close and kissing the side of my head. While this was happening my mom hurried back inside with Saeko, "Mom-"
She didn't look back at me, just continued inside. Hitoshi and I went after her and found her showing Saeko off to my dad. "Mom, you can't just steal her like that." I complained, walking over to them.
"But I just had to show her off to your father, we barely got to see her after she was born."
I felt my eye twitch, "And we did? She was taken the second she was out of me. It's not like we've had any time with her either. We didn't even get to see her much the few days I was in the hospital." I replied, agitated. My mom looked like she wanted to talk back but backed down, walking over and handing Saeko over to me.
   When Saeko was in my arms I went up to my room without another word, Hitoshi following me. Hitoshi closed my bedroom door behind us and we sat down on my bed. Once sat I handed Saeko to Hitoshi, he looked at me confused but I smiled at him, "You haven't really had a chance to hold her yet."
   Hitoshi carefully took her in his arms, smiling down at her with a shine in his eyes. "I still can't believe that she's finally here, I love her so much Kat."
   I leaned my head onto Hitoshi's shoulder, holding a finger out to Saeko, "I do too, I'm already so fucking attached to her." I replied, my smile widening as Saeko took hold of my finger.
   "You have to watch your language now, no being a bad influence on our daughter."
   I scoffed, "She's what? Almost a month old? She probably can't understand a thing I say, don't scold me asshole."
   Hitoshi laughed and kissed my cheek, smiling at me, "Maybe, I kind of hope she ends up being like you. She'd be even cuter if she was a mini you."
   "Disagree, she'd be a menace if she was like me. You haven't the slightest idea how much of a terror I was growing up."
"I'd be willing to deal with it. I already deal with you, right?" Hitoshi teased, a smug smile on his face.
"I should fucking leave, make you raise her yourself so you can regret those words." I scoffed, slowly starting to get up.
Hitoshi transfered Saeko to one of his arms and used his free hand to grab my wrist and pull me back onto the bed. He was quick to pull me into a kiss, winning me back over instantly. "I'd be a wreck without you, you know that."
   "I only know that because I'd be the same without you." I replied, leaning back into Hitoshi. Hitoshi ended up passing Saeko back to me, changing positions so he was behind me and able to fully wrap his arms around me. "You're lucky I'm so excited to raise her with you, otherwise I don't think I'd be able to handle this very well. I'm still scared that I'll end up fucking her up somehow."
   "You're going to be such a great dad Kat. She already adores you so much. I have all the faith in the world that you're going to be perfect, trust me." Hitoshi said, resting his chin on my shoulder.
   I thought for a moment before answering, "I trust you. As long as you're here I'm confident that everything will work out fine." I then looked down at Saeko, a smile spreading onto my face, "You'll have the perfect life kid, I'll make damn sure of it."