Uncontrollable Heart Book 2 (Poetry) (Journaling)

The Game He Lost

I wrote this for the asshole that got me knocked up in Ridgeview.

He bragged about me to everyone
Like I was just some prize he won in a game
I mean we weren't the same
But still, I'm not just some sex toy
'ya know!'
I stupidly believed you loved me
'I mean,'
You called me beautiful like no other

Then you go talk about me to the boys
Talk about my curves like it's a chore
'ya know!'
Boy you were the one who asked me if I was offering
'though?'
Not like I asked to have your offspring
Though if we're being honest you are an attention-seeking bastard
And on the other hand, I was a simple-minded girl

For you the one I thought I fell for, I lied
'Yet again,'
You used me then you broke me inside
Said you didn't wanna hurt me and I believed you
But you hurt me in a whole other way
'So guess what?'
I decided to leave with your baby, you did say you didn't want it
'cuz like I said!!'
The babies are not to blame unlike their so-called father

'I mean,'
I don't know if I love or hate you
But I know by you I was mistreated for fun
'Sadly.'
We did the deed in the dark, in a place for those who were pushed over the edge
But I was in a different kind of darkness once I realized how you tricked and used me
'I mean, look!!!!!'
I'm shaking so badly I wasn't able to hold myself up while my heartbeat was heard in my ears
'look what you did!!'
I was wanting so badly to say no but you had taken that choice away from me

I had stopped asking for your forgiveness because it was mine I needed to earn
'that's for sure
You should know only a fool goes where the angels refuse to stay
'I mean come on!'
Sadly some things never change do they
I'll still suffocate in this black hole while you lose your mind to your urges again
'Like I said!'
Oh how you'll see me thrive though
Cuz I write my stories from the roots

'Thank god.'
Victory is in my veins
Too bad I let you in-between my legs
'More like didn't!!!'
Though I'll fight you again and again
But I was too weak to stop you
So I'll take the gift I was given
While you keep what you stole from me

When the fires at my feet again
I'll keep going till I reach the end
You're out of time but I will still rise
Because what doesn't kill me teaches me lessons learned
'I mean come on.'
Tell me what it is exactly that I can't ask of you.
I mean who is it you want me to be?

I'm not a toy or tool to be used and then tossed aside like trash
'You should know by now!!'
I'm a human being who feels pain, sadness, and happiness
So what is it you want to form me this time?
I'll make sure to say no until you listen to me
'like you should!!!!'
So the lessons I learned can hurt you you did me
Because I just can't seem to make up my mind
'So now I'll choose.'
Since you came along and you stole what's not yours
You'll now lose what you so deeply will come to one day treasure