So on another note, I just got asked to have s*x with someone I've been wanting to f*ck for over a year. But it's awkward for me because I don't know If I actually like him or just wanna f*ck him. And I can't f*ck him if that's all I want from him, I just don't wanna do it for that reason. I mean he also kinda asked me while he was high off a 'blunt' if ya know what I mean. And I know if I f*cked him only for that, then I'd end up hurting him. Also he's my brother's best friend and my parents consider him their child already. So I don't wanna ruin his relationship with my family or my brother. But at the same time I don't even know why exactly I wanna have s*x with him either, so yeah. So I can't f*ck him for sure, but he did say he's leaving it on the table. But I'm also scared nervous and so inexperienced, I feel like I'll turn him off. Only cuz he kinda had a hard on while talking to me. But with what I've been through in the past, I don't think he likes me I think sense he was high he was just looking for a f*ck buddy, and I don't want that ever again. Especially sense I never wanted it in the first place but I was to young to stop it back then so I just went along and did what they wanted. I mean I'm no longer a virgin but still. I could also be pregnant but sense the doctors not sure and I'm not sure I'ma just wait this shit out. Well diary thanks for listening, I know you'll give me an answer and some advice when ya have it, so later.
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Uncontrollable Heart Book 2 (Poetry) (Journaling)
Short StoryIt's book 2 of hidden feelings, It's gonna be full of more songs and journal entries. I'm being lazy with my description and I'm sorry for that. So this stuff wil be for anyone.
