Uncontrollable Heart Book 2 (Poetry) (Journaling)

My Past, That Was Lost To Me

(Poetry)
Dedicated To: the little girl hiding deep within me

Societies always so subjective
But I believe in you and me now
So, what's your objective?
You told me all about your plans
So I just have one question
What is it exactly that your chasing

You weild the truth, so why not write all those wrong
I'm not passing judgement, I swear
But only time will show
How you've come to change for the better
So break the ground you now walk upon
In order to create your chosen path in life

I'm now 6 months clean off the self-harming
Yet you choose to believe someone else over me
But at least I'm making good off the withdrawal
So I'll choose to look beyond past betrayals
I keep thinking I need that rush
When really I need your unwavering love

I mean I have these dreams where I'm me again
So maybe it really is you I need
But this addiction just won't seem to let me go
Guess I should just try to ditch it
And I'm just feeling so out of touch
I mean reality just isn't real, anymore than you are

So recycle or reuse, it just won't let go
That's why I hide away from the others
Crying in my bed where chills and sweats overcome me
Guess there's just no escape or way around it
It's so useless so, why do I do this
Maybe because pain was my past objective

But the truth is it's a lie, just an escape from you
But it won't last long sense it's just an excuse
Though it's never gonna change
Guess I'll be stuck in the dark for eternity
I don't really want depression, but he can be very condescending
Sadly he doesn't know who's really in control

So, load up on guns and bring your friends
Because we're starting a riot
It's less dangerous, but I feel so stupid
But with everyone here I know we'll succeed
With the lights out, I guess I find it kinda hard
To see our future and if we even have one

I wish I could remember ever second we had
But you know, some are just to painful
I just wish to relive them one by one x2
So instead let's make better and happier ones
I just can't lose you now
If I lost you now I'd lose me for good
So I'll keep you in my life somehow
I just can't stop falling down, but I'm not gonna lose you ever again