Uncontrollable Heart Book 2 (Poetry) (Journaling)

I Dont Wanna Know

I'm doing all that I can
I'm really trying
And if you expect anything from me before you say just stay quiet
I don't wanna know
I just want to be good enough
Or at least do something good enough to pay you back
But nothing I do is good enough
Nothing I ever do or have done will or is ever good enough
There's no such thing as good enough
It's not a real thing clearly that's the truth of it all
If there was there'd be no such words as I thought I was good enough
Or why am I not good enough
Clearly the worlds a lie everything anyone says is a lie
And I fucked up again I'm not supposed to get involved yet here I go again
I was supposed to just shut up no sex no talk no play no fun
But I keep messing up I keep talking and I fucked him now I'm knocked up
Hah jokes on you cuz I'm not pregnant but I keep getting involved
Just like a dumbass like the idiot I am
Always getting involved always trying to make others happy
Never once concerned for myself till it's to late and now I'm in the middle
I can't believe how stupid and how people pleasing I am how broken I am
I wish I weren't so stupid
I'm trying to get a better job I'm trying to please them while dying inside
Maybe I should just shut up don't stand up for myself while neither bowing to them
Who knows maybe I'll actually be happy or maybe not guess we'll never find out will we?