Uncontrollable Heart Book 2 (Poetry) (Journaling)

Sweetest Dreams of Mine

(Poetry)

Don't focus to much
Don't overthink all the time
Just sleep tonight
Hope to have the sweetest of dreams
Then in the morning just go on with your day
Keep moving forward as if nothing can stop you

I'm alone but feel so close to everyone
Nature's my best friend which is why we talk
I'm a no show without warning
I turn myself off when I run out of feelings
But is it really okay if I don't feel like talking
I'm missing all the normal things, but I'll try again

So can I call you back when I'm open again
Will you answer when your needed most
I hope you stick around so I know I can trust you
Wish you were here now though
Maybe I'd feel better in the morning
Guess I still wonder what's wrong with me, why I'm so messed up

I wanna call my friends and family and say 'I'm sorry'
Cuz I never acted on my thoughts
But I hate and feel so guilty for simply just having them
So can I come back home again
Will you welcome me with open arms
Because that's what I'm dreaming about every night

I know I messed up, so I'm checking out
I know you feel I don't care
But I promise you I simply just care to much
I mean I stay hidden and keep myself closed off
I do feel lonely sometimes
But in my dreams I'm not lonely when I'm alone

So I stay inside have fun and laugh
But I guess you guys don't feel that lonely
You play with your friends and forget all about me
I never give in nor give you what you want
I don't listen or act as your perfect puppet
So I guess when that happens I'm a useless tool

I tend to lose myself when with others
I'm listening but I kept spacing out
I don't ignore you I just have to many thoughts
So when I'm overwhelmed I'll be sure to hide and cry
Can't have you know I feel broken, not when you say there's no reason
So I let you think you know me, cuz I gave up trying

I'm still fighting, but do I really have to
I'm overthinking but maybe I should stop trying
I'm always trying to help but maybe I should give it up
I'm always so tired and exhausted, but I don't truly wanna die
I'm always feeling so lonely but my dreams are the sweetest
I'm always counting down the days but never catching a break

So I'm asking again, can I call you back
Will you really come back or only in my dreams
I'm scared and lonely will you help fill this void
I tend to lose myself easily, but I love spacing out
My sweetest dreams seem to be the ones that never come true
I see the result of the world but tend to wish it was different

Im always so lost while hurting inside
But I prefer my dreams over reality cuz it's to hard to face the truth
But I need to face reality and fight it head on
But I can't though, not that I don't care but cuz I give up now
I need to not overthink, I need to not stop trying, but to keep moving
I have a set path to walk down but I choose to make my own
I know I should stop trying but I just want everyone to be happy
Even if that means I'll lose it all with only my sweetest dreams left