The Wires Case [ h.s ]

chapter 14

i have no idea what this chapter is, if it doesn't make any sense im sorry I just didn't know how to work it out and it turned out pretty bad
:(

Harry Styles

I've been driving for the last hour. I've been to her house once, but left the minute I got a glance of her.

The tightness in my chest grew when I saw her through her window, seated in her bed with Pearl on her lap listening to music. So carefree and loose, like she wasn't carrying everything she does for once.

After that, I drove through town, smoking at least two cigarettes in five minutes, trying and hoping to get her out of my mind. 

It's been two days since the party, and I swear I spent the last two days still remembering the way her lips felt against mine.

I've never wished to feel her again more than I do right now. But I can't.

I hate Brooke. I hate the way she is with me, with her, with everyone. I hate the way her blue eyes stare into mine the moments I turn to look at her when she's looking at me. I hate the way the freckles on her face make her look even more pretty. I hate the fact that I'm investigating her, because it puts a lot of barriers between us that I wish weren't there.

I hate the fact that she's so hard to read, that she's so hard to break. I hate the fact that I don't hate her as much as I used to, and that all that hate is turning into something else.

I find it so fucking weird that I'm feeling this way, I've known her for what, two weeks now? I can't feel something for someone so fast. It's just impossible, right?

I guess not if you spend every day thinking about that said person.

I mean think about it. I spent most of my nights with Brooke in my head, trying to figure her out, that I actually developed feelings for her.

I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't attracted to her since the beginning, because it's not true. She's absolutely flawless. Her blue eyes and dark hair are a perfect combination of chaos and calmness.

And now that I know what her lips feel like there's no turning back for me. I'm way too deep that I can touch the bottom with my feet.

But I need to get to the surface and realize that it's impossible, even if I want her, it can't happen. My life will be destroyed, and I have a feeling hers will become more dangerous the closer I get.

I let out a breath, feeling a tear roll down my cheek because I'm actually exhausted about everything my brain is thinking. Sometimes I wish humans didn't have emotions. I wish I didn't have to feel anxious, confused and actually lost about everything.

I hate having feelings, because at the end they are all bad.

When you feel love, there's always heartbreak. When you feel calm, you'll eventually feel a hurricane coming. When you feel hope, you'll end up hopeless.

The life of feelings and emotions is a circle. It starts with all the good kind—the happiness and contentment, and it ends in the bad kind—the pain and the sadness.

It's just how it works. Or at least it's how it worked for me.

But I'm tired of that stupid circle to be honest. Even though it's how rules might say life works, I'm making my own rules. The ones where everything ends up alright, where everyone ends up alright.

I'm sick of finding myself at the same place again and again. I'm going to break the rules of life to actually live.

I'm going to fight for what makes me happy, even if it might be a blue-eyed girl. And that means solving this case, because I want to know the actual Brooke, the one that has me wrapped around her finger. 

Not the one she pretends to be, I want her real self. I will let my chest feel tighter and tighter until it explodes if by the end I can save her from whatever it's happened or has happened.

Even if she's a murderer or a physco. Even if she's got fire in her veins, smoke on her lips, blood in her fists and her mind is wrapped up in chains. Even if scars mark her hips, and sometimes she forgets that is okay not to be okay, I'll do whatever it takes to prove what I've been saying since the beginning of this case.

Brooke Wires is innocent.

Is just something about her that tells me that she's more of a victim than actually a suspect.

There's something behind everything. Something we don't expect, like I didn't expect falling for her.

But that's the thing about her, about me, about everyone. We don't expect things to happen, because we don't know they will.

We keep going with our lives until something happens that changes us for the worse. We keep going, battling, until something happens again that changes us for the best.

I want to be that best to Brooke.

And if at the end it fucking hits me in the face, at least I know I had a porpoise for once after a long time of not having one.

I'm changing my life to help her, and to help me.

I'm going to solve your case, Brooke.

I slow down as I reach my destination. I park my car and make my way up the old building. I always come here whenever I feel so confused and small in the world.

The air hits me as I open the rooftop door. I walk towards the end and when I reach it I sit in the border, my feet dangling over the city below.

Right now, everything looks smaller, and I look like I could conquer the world. Like I can deal with everything.

I'm done feeling insignificant to my problems, to my emotions. Even if I might make mistakes during this journey, there's point of no returning. I feel something for Brooke, and while I can, I'll make things better for the ones that deserve it.

I know things will still be the same between her and I. She'll be rude to me and I'll be rude back at her. We'll still hate each other, we'll have the same dynamic we have had until I can open her heart and make it see the world from another point of view, her real point of view.

Not the one people and experiences have made her have. The one she deserves.

—

i hate this chapter and i hate my life
it will get better i promise it just one horrible chapter
c <3