The Wires Case [ h.s ]

chapter 23

"'Cause that's just the way of the world
It never ends till the end, then you start again
That's just the way of the world"

I'm baaack, missed you guys
tw mentions of rape & use of drugs

Brooke Wires

I drown in alcohol as his words keep replying in my mind.

But I'm here for you, if you need someone to talk to.

They have been stuck in my head since he said them, not actually knowing how to process them. Him and I are not friends, he shouldn't want to be there for me.

But the way his voice sounded so calm and comforting makes me believe he wants to be there. And I don't know how to process that either.

Does he like...me? In a way that he would be dealing with all I am?

I don't get Harry. I really don't. Why is he so interested in me after everything said about me in uni? Why does he keep coming back? I'm sure he heard all the things people have been saying every time I cross paths with them. Those don't go unnoticed, not by me and sure as hell not by him. I mean, he even said it before we fucked, he made a comment about my life, so I'm sure he knows. And also, after everything, every fight we had, he should honestly be telling me he's done and that he prefers I fail.

But no, he's still here, and it looks like he isn't planning on leaving any time soon.

I know we're only partners in the project, but there's something about him that says more, like he won't only make a project with me.

I don't know how I feel about that. I kind of like it...the thought of him wanting more.

I've been so used this last year that someone wanting more of me excites me, but at the same time terrifies me. Because I don't really know what to expect. I normally can see when someone wants me for my body, or my money. It was hard at first, but due to the things that had happened now I can read people like a fucking book.

With Harry though, after all these little moments we shared I don't really know what his intentions are. When I'm with him, apart from feeling like I want to rip his hair out most of the time, I feel kind of...comfortable.

I don't know how he does it, but he's breaking me. Which couldn't be worse.

I've given it at least two nights of walking across town thinking about him, and trying to gather my feelings and to order them, and I came to the conclusion that I do like Harry.

I came to the conclusion that as much as I tried to deny it, he's gorgeous and as I said, there's something about him that makes me want to be free from all the restraints I have on.

The hardest part is I can't. So I need to pretend I don't like him. Which I hate, because I don't know how to control my emotions, they are always on display.

I honestly hate my life. I hate that this is the path is taking and that there isn't any way to change it. My life has its rules, and I have to adapt to them.

I don't have my rules, and my life has to adapt to them, no. I'm just a puppet in this world, and I'm being controlled.

I wish I could leave the world, for good. But that isn't in the rules either. So I'm stuck living a life I don't want, with someone I don't want to be. I'm stuck being unhappy, but it's not like it's something I'm not used to.

I wonder what would happen if I broke them. Could I be with Harry the way I want to be?

I guess it's better if things stay the way they are. I'm actually terrified of what would happen if I did.