Painful - A Jacksepticeye x Depressed Reader FanFiction

Chapter 1 - One Million

(y/n)'s pov.

I unlocked the door to my apartment and turned on the lights. It flickered a bit and I sighed. "I have to remember to get a new bulb soon", I mumbled and stepped inside. I closed the door, took my shoes off and placed them on the little rug. It was just another day. I had just returned from school – or as I call it: hell – my personal hell.

All my life I've always tried to fit in somewhere. But somehow, I never found my people. As a girl, playing video games and the like instead of shopping and putting on makeup doesn't exactly make you very popular. And you don't belong with the boys either. When I was younger, they didn't want anything to do with me and now that I'm in the last year before graduation it's too late to really make friends. The only friends I have, I've made online. But they ether live to far away or I am too nervous to meet them in person. I'm too afraid they might not like "the real (y/)".

The first few years, I was just an outsider – a lone wolf, so to speak. People did not really pay much attention to me. And even though I felt lonely most of the time – I was left alone.

Eight grade I started my YouTube channel. At first people did not know about it. Then one day someone from my class stumbled over it. That person showed the rest of my class. The majority did not really care about it. They watched a few of my videos here and there and sometimes had a laugh about it. That was it. They thought I was crazy for putting so much time and effort into something "that would never pay off". I did not care about their opinion and continued.

But everything changed when I reached 100.000 subscribers basically overnight. It was pure luck. I had uploaded a video that went viral. A few bigger creators reacted to it and that was the main reason why I gained so many subscribers. That changed everything. Both in a positive and in a negative way...

My channel blew up, I had a bigger audience, I could do more projects and I finally had viewers when going live on Twitch that would write something I could talk about in chat.

But in school, everything changed as well. The massive growth of my channel happened between 8th and 9th grade. So a lot of people did not know about it until we were back at school. On the first day it spread like a wildfire. At the end of the day, everyone knew. From that day on, people treated me differently. Some people were happy for me and congratulated me. The rest were either negative about me and my content or were jealous of my success. Both groups wanted to see me fail. Some did everything online to make me look bad - others desperately tried to get clicks by using me to "get some of that fame". But when both things did not work, they got frustrated. The hate I received at school grew exponentially with the success I had online. The more followers I made – the more people attacked me.

One boy was exceptionally horrible. His name was (y/b/n). He never liked me in the first place but after my channel blew up, he really started hating me – because he was doing YouTube himself, but his channel never blew up. I looked through his videos and figured he could improve his editing skills to make his videos more appealing. I offered him my help, but he refused, calling me all sorts of stuff. But that was just the beginning.

Unfortunately, a lot of people in our class liked (y/b/n). He was a typical Chad - tall, muscles, likes to party and drink beer. He threw a lot of parties every year – but of course, I was never invited. In fact, he used those parties to talk shit about me. I heard one girl talking about one of those once during sports class. They often projected my videos onto a giant beamer, made fun of me and afterwards commented nasty things about me under that video. They even tried to leak my personal information more than once. Fortunately, nothing got out yet.

(y/b/n), being the popular boy he was, never grew tired of telling everyone at school how horrible of a person I was. He accused me of being selfish, insulting and stealing from him and other classmates, talking like I was better than everyone else, so on and so on... You know, the typical stuff you say when you want to make sure nobody likes you. And it worked. Everybody believed him. They never asked me about it or tried anything to confirm whether it was true or not.